SAAM 2024

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the blog writter and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent.

The month of April is known as Sexual Assault Awareness Month around the world. It is during this month that often military Sexual Assault Prevention & Response (SAPR) Teams will host significant events to bring awareness to the subject of sexual assault and awareness. The 90th MW/SAPR Program is similar; the first part of the month for the SAPR team at F.E. Warren Air Force Base (FEW) comprised of advertising. Getting out amongst the people giving out business cards and candy at gates with the first sergeants or sitting at tables visiting with people during their lunches was all a big build-up for three major events dominating the talk on the installation.

Mayra Guillen from the #IamVanessaGuillen Foundation flew to Denver, Colorado, from Houston, Texas to speak to the men and women at FEW. I was privileged to pick her up and be her assistant and chauffeur for the day she was in Cheyenne. What a privilege to hear an amazing and strong woman talk about her sister, the tragedy that occurred, and what has since occurred in the SAPR world as a result of Vanessa’s needless death. Over 600 people packed the FEW theater to hear Mayra. FEW was the first military installation after Vanessa’s death to invite Mayra to speak and follow through, and we made sure to leave a lasting impression that we pray will leave her wanting to come back and compare all her other visits to this one. It is my hope, with the help of sponsors, that next year, for SAAM, we will be able to dedicate a bench at the front of the installation to Vanessa’s Guillen and the Start by Believing concept. Already we have seen the impact that this woman has made just at FEW.

SARC, Becki Burke and Marya Guillen

The theater was packed for Mayra Guillen

Following Mayra, we invited another impressive woman and survivor to teach at our gym on self-defense. Mrs. Sarah Falen-Tate is an impressive woman who is an attorney and advocate for our farmers and ranchers and teaches self-defense. Thanks to her daddy, who believed it essential for his children to learn self-defense Sarah was able to escape an attempt to kidnap, rape and assault her while she was out on a highway in Wyoming alone. She uses that knowledge to teach others how to be cognizant of their surroundings and, if necessary, the basic steps to escape if the need arises. This is the second year we have had Sarah at our installation, and she never fails to bring the heat. We look forward to her returning to teach more men and women at FEW.

Mrs Sarah Tate teaching self defense

Finally, the 26th of April arrived, and our team would make sure that the Annual SAPR 5K and Resource Fair finished the month with a bang. With only 52 people signed up to run and attend, we saw that the men and women at F.E. Warren Air Force Base would surprise us once again with over 100 people walking/running on a cold and blustery day, and then upon finishing heading to the Trails End for breakfast courtesy of the First Sergeants and coffee from Scooters Coffee and a wealth of information on self-care from the following organizations: SAPR, Chaplain Corp, the JA, Guard Prevention, Outdoor Recreation, Military One Source, 90/MW Prevention, Cheyenne Animal Shelter, Hands on Physical Therapy, Blue Federal Credit Union, Military One Sources, and many many men and women who assisted with set-up and tear down. We started with over ten tubs of swag to give out, and when we returned, we had less than two.

The conclusion of SAAM was amazing with more runners than anticipated and a fantastic resource fair.

April was an incredible month here at FEW. I look forward to seeing what Becki Burke, our new SARC, does with this program and how she takes it to new levels of trust and acceptance by both leadership and the men and women we serve.

Thoughts…Thoughts…Thoughts

1. Cleaning out a closet
2. If money was not an issue
3. High School
4. Relationship with the body

So this is going to be that kind of rambling post about multiple topics when I realized in reality they weave into one another!

Ahhh…that feeling you get when you have cleaned out your closet of clothes you don’t wear or are too big! That is exactly what I am doing this week. I have a tote I will be taking to someone this week. It is such a good feeling to remove clothing from my closet because they are too big. It is a sign I am losing weight, getting healthier and taking care of me.

When I was in high school I had this little 100lb body that easily fit into size 0 and 1s. I didn’t exercise and ate whatever I wanted never thinking that not only did I have a family tedency to be overweight but also that I could lose my high burning metabolism. That little girl in high school always had other worries that consumed her: being pretty enough, or knowing and being with the right friends. Fast foward 30 years to a 49 year old woman who has birthday four daughters and faced health challenges amongst other things I now weight 155lbs. This is huge as I have seen 250lbs at one point. In 2015 I made the decision to take control of my life and body by not oly shedding weight but also stopping a pharmaceutical-chemistry set-up in my own medicine cabinet and body. I no longer would be ruled by presciptions, begin walking and living again on my own terms. Today I make it a point to get in 10,000 steps, and multiple flights of steps. In addition to that I do intermitten fasting, where regularly I do not eat for 20 hours and then only have an hour or two of feasting. Is my relationship with my body perfect? No, but as with any relationship it is a work in progress. Somedays I love how it looks and other days…I keep reminding myself I am fearfully and wonderfully make and that all things are from God.

If money wasn’t an issue…what wouldyou do tomorrow if you won the lottery or had a rich relative who left you with enough money that you could do whatever you wanted the rest of your life? I am sure we all dream and imagine what we would do if money would no long be an issue. Many would buy lavish items like cars, clothes, houses, etc. But is that really what makes life better? Do you know many of the millionaires and billionaires out there do not live in big fancy homes or drive fancy cars? Rather many live just like regular middle-class. According to many studies it is realtors, attorneys, and other high profile persons who seem to need to put on the airs even if their flat broke. So what would I do if money was no longer an issue…I would buy a home on 40-50 acres so we could have some cows, pigs, etc. My new home would be a modest three bedroom home. Just big enough to have guests but not so big it envelopes us with too much room. Yes we would probably buy a new car but nothing extravagant. My husband would probably just rather redo his engine and repaint the truck since we love it and hate the newer ones. My current vehicle is a 2016 Mazda CX5 that I love and does well for us when we travel. Of course my education costs would be paid off and any otherstanding bills for us and the kids. Beyond that we would take care of some needs for the kids and then with the help of a financial advisor we would work on investments so our wealth could grow and help our kids when we leave this earth. We would discuss giving to the church and military groups, and then traveling would be a must. Lastly using my education and Tim’s knowledge workng with our military and volunteering would be important.

So what would you do?

F. E. Warren Air Force Base & SAPR

Every 68 seconds, a person in the United States is sexually assaulted.  One in five women in their lifetime will experience sexual assault.  24.8% of men will experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetime.  These are staggering statistics.  These same statistics are mirrored in our military armed forces.  Every April across this nation and in many places of the world, Sexual Assault Awareness Month is recognized as a way to support the survivors and put the horrors of sexual assault in the limelight and how it can be prevented.

At F.E. Warren Air Force Base, the SAPR Team provided plenty of opportunities for our community to recognize survivors and help curb the tide of the sexual assault epidemic through action and education.  One of the first things leadership and the SAPR Team do is utilize MMIII Park to recognize the month by lighting the missiles in teal, then providing banners at each installation gate.  

April was a whirlwind of activities ranging from the missiles’ lighting to the month’s culmination with the annual 5K.  Check out all these extraordinary events:

–          07 April Teal Tuesday was kicked off with a bang as community members dressed in their finest teal!  Check out the Protocol Team here.

–          On 10 April, Team SAPR hosted the movie “She Said” during First Friday at the Trails End.

– Volunteers manned a SAPR table at the Awake Coffee Shop and DFAC every Wednesday.  For each person who purchased a drink at the Awake, their drink was ensconced in a sleeve that recognized the 2023 SAPR theme.

–          Tuesdays and Thursdays were spent visiting each group to provide flyers of that week’s events or just visiting about available resources–this allowed the community to see the team being real.

–          On 21 April, Team SAPR and the First Sergeant’s Council greeted installation members as they entered the gates in the morning.  It was an excellent opportunity to give a coffee coupon and bring a little joy in the morning rush.

–          25 April, SAPR and Sarah Falen, a local attorney and self-defense instructor, hosted a self-defense class for all those nine years of age and older.  Sixteen people attended this class, where Sarah emphasized the importance of situational awareness and basic moves to escape from bad situations.  Sarah feels self-defense is critical because of her own story:  In June of 2016, Sarah was towing a trailer home when it was necessary to get out of her truck on the side of a quiet highway to resecure her load.  Several people stopped to see if she needed help, but the third one wanted to do more than help her when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her off the trailer.  Because of her twelve years of martial arts training, she could slam her feet to the ground (a technique she taught in the self-defense class), elbow him, and get loose.  He tried again, and that is when she kicked him, got to her truck, and drove away.  She wants to get her message out that she has done her job if even one person can learn a skill that keeps them from being victims like her. Due to Sarah’s self-defense class, people in the military community have asked her to return to do more.

–          The last Wednesday of April, which fell on 26 April this year, is a call to action and awareness about sexual violence and victim shaming. Our installation commander allowed each group and squadron to decide whether uniforms would be shed for denim. 

–          The culmination of Sexual Assault Awareness Month at F.E. Warren Air Force Base concluded with the annual 5K Run-Walk, with a lunch and resource fair following.  Thirty-seven people signed up for the race, with many more participating and enjoying lunch afterward.  This great event would not have been as successful without the help of organizations like the NCOA, Culvers, and local artisan and Operations Group spouse Faithe-Maree Dell who supplied a quilt done in SAPR teals for the drawing. 

(U. S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Sarah Post)

(U. S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Sarah Post)

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2022!

Greetings and Salutations from the Miller Zoo!                                                         

2022 has been a fun year! So many changes and events have happened for Tim and me…we cannot wait to tell you about all we have done and experienced this year.

Initially, the year was slow to start, but in flew February with an announcement that our youngest daughter was engaged to be married – and “mom would you come to help me shop for wedding dresses?” Absolutely but it wouldn’t be until March that we would find that perfect dress. 

• February was an exciting month, and we welcomed another first…we got to meet Greg and Brianna-Lea’s daughter Inora Lynn and spend some quality time with all three of them. She is a delight, and spending a few hours with her and her parents was wonderful.

In March, so many events happen! At the beginning of the month, I was notified that I was under investigation for falsely answering information in my security clearance. Fortunately, good overcomes evil, and after several months of wondering and waiting, I was exonerated and placed back in good standing.

• Not only did I fly to Kansas City at the end of March to shop for dresses, but Tim and I had the opportunity to attend Buckles and Baubles with my OG team, where we outbid my commander on a picture that would later be returned to him as a parting gift for his change of command.

Over the entire year, our family enjoyed several tea(s), both as the four of us and just Faithe and I. It has become a monthly event that Faithe and I enjoy participating in.

May found so many changes…

• Volunteering at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter is a joy and a place I spent many hours over the summer and fall. I, unfortunately, haven’t been able to be there for a while due to injuring my knee.
• At the shelter, I found a new addition to our home and the Dell home:  Sir Pepper!
• Even under investigation, my OG team supported and believed in me. It was reflected in what they thought when I received the highest score an appraisal can receive.
• Moving the kids to Cheyenne and seeing Liam off to Vandenburg AFB, where he could do his 13N training.

June saw lots of endings and beginnings.

• At the beginning of the month, we celebrated a friend of Liam and Faithe’s while we photographed their wedding.
• Then we celebrated Codi with a bridal shower.
• Finally, we said goodbye to my first OG command:  Colonel Moore and Lt Col Hartfield, but hello to a new team in Colonel Nelson and Lt Col Vann. I have been vastly surprised at the differences in command over the last five years as I worked amongst these fantastic men and women.

July is always a busy month with CFD. So much of this time is spent volunteering for this significant event that highlights our past and present. So many miles were walked and run as we photographed, ushered, and ran in the parade. The month ended with our family signing up to join the CFD Military Committee – a real privilege after working alongside them for many, many years.

In August, Faithe and I started up Lunar Studios Photography again with more work photographing animals and group work – we enjoyed photographing families at the base – walking alongside animals at the shelter – and assisting 4H’rs perfect their work.  

• This was the month I would also agree to be a mentor for the Pine Bluffs MOPS program – something I hope I have helped with as much as they have helped me.
• This would also be the month we would enjoy a tour of more of the hidden side of my work and see what our Missileers do each and every day 

• But the most prominent event had us spending a week in an air BnB in Longmont as we prepared for and celebrated Nate and Codi’s love as they joined their families together in marriage.

Another busy month blew September in for the Millers. Not only would I be starting back into school, but Faithe and I would photograph several significant events and go to the 75^th Air Force Ball. The one thing Tim and I had for a first was with me being gone for nearly five days and him being home with critters. We both agreed that while it was great for me to spend that time with mom and Kari, our next trip would be together.

In October, Liam graduated and came home as the newest missileer to the 90^th Operations Group. It was so awesome to have the family back together. 

• This would also be the month we spent hours in the park gathering family pictures and just laughing a lot.
• An opportunity for application for a new job came up as well at the month’s close. While I was sure I would never leave the OG, I was not able to utilize my education as easily. Fortunately, after an interview, November would swoop in and show us the blessing of being selected as the first employed Victim’s Advocate at the 90^th Missile Wing. Around mid-December, it is the hope of many that I will move to my new job and begin helping those who have seen their voices silenced, speak again, and have their rights restored.

As we come to the end of the year, we are spending the holiday with Tim’s brother Brian and our girls and their families. I am volunteering as a key spouse so that our men and women in the missile field have a taste of home..and we are saying goodbye once again not only to my team as I move onto a new one but to our friend and colleague Bee as she moves onto a new assignment. The hardest thing about the military is the goodbyes…or see you later since we don’t know the next time we will see a person.

Well, that is our year in a brief nutshell…so many things that needed to be condensed down but that we wanted to share, and so much more we wish we could share but there just is not enough room or time before getting this out to each and every one of you.

Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The Millers and The Zoo!

September/October Photo Drop and Thoughts

October ended with lots of love and laughter…we celebrated Liam’s first Halloween by dressing up and collecting candy – he was the extended warranty guy! We even decorated and carved pumpkins. As part of the festivities, we visited the base where we saw the Luttons, Nelsons, Carmean, and Buss. I even dressed up and let Ms. Tea decorate my nails more. However, there was so much more to October…

Check out the cool colors on my ankle due to a result of a fall from the 30^th or the tea we went to on the 29^th

I got a new dish set – something I have not gotten before

Liam has become my accountability partner – I am looking forward to going back to the gym with him

We advertised to do pictures this Saturday, but no one signed up

Then there is my little Bee hanging out

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“I am Groot!”

No matter where I go, I will always be a Jolly Rogers. In October, I applied for a position doing the work that I have been working towards in my education – today (11/04/2022), I interviewed and feel 99% certain I will be hired. I have mixed emotions about this as I love the 90^th Operations Group and struggle with leaving them… However, I want to think that I will leave an imprint on the lives I have encountered in a good way.

Wyoming showed her colors this year with a real fall spectacular showing. We saw those colors just days after when we saw silver flowers while doing family pictures.

My sweet Bee finds that lying down and loafing anywhere is good enough.

Tuhla and I went after the same ball; only when I went to kick, she went for the foot rather than the ball. Can you say ouch?

Not only has Wyoming shown all colors, but at the base, we have enjoyed a variety of animals, including this young coyote who appears at different times during the day. I was lucky to watch him for a while – he likes to dive headlong into the ground after rodents.

Check out one of the sweet shelter pups I enjoy each time I am at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter!

Birthdays…Teas…and Fur babies!

One of Liam’s requests after he came home, was to have a full tea at home…so the three of us had one and then enjoyed some time running errands. When we got home, the kids wanted to celebrate Tim’s birthday with a singing and exploding card.

Liam graduated from 13N school at Vandenburg Air Force Base

Pepper got to meet his dad

Enjoy a passel of kittens from the Cheyenne Animal Shelter above!

At the end of September, I traveled to Gillette to help move mom to Kansas City, MO, to live with my sister and brother-in-law. We enjoyed time traveling, unpacking, Holly time and time together. When I got home, I enjoyed time with my critters and an evening in the ER with my husband to learn how we do things like abdominal sprained muscles as we age.

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In September, we said goodbye to Chief Delgado – had another tea – went to see Codi – checked out a Sunday farmer’s market – did spring cleaning (check out Tuhla’s green nails!

September saw our first MOPS meeting in Pine Bluffs…And Faithe and I photographed the Cheyenne Marathon.

However, more important, it saw us celebrating the 75^th Anniversary of the United States Air Force. More time with the shelter photographing their Octoberfest

We said goodbye to the only queen I have ever known in my lifetime:  Queen Elizabeth II. Rest in Peace, Your Majesty!

Our yard is looking good – as are these pups who were adopted.

Codi and Nathan made it to Greece and took wedding pictures in their beautiful wedding attire. Moreover, my sweet husband celebrated our 5^th Wedding Anniversary with a beautiful bouquet for me

9/11

IN MEMORY OF ALL WE LOST, THE 21ST ANNIVERSARY OF 9/11

STATISTICS: Times of impact: 8:46 a.m. and 9:02 a.m. Time the burning towers stood: 56 minutes and 102 minutes. The time they took to fall: 12 seconds. 2819 dead from 115 different nations. 343 Firemen/ paramedics, 23 NYPD, and 37 Port Authority officers.

Pentagon: Time of impact: 9:37 a.m. Deaths: 189

Pennsylvania Field: Time of impact: 10:03 a.m. Deaths: 44

Total lost 2996+

These losses do not account for the thousands more who have died as a result of the toxins from that day after the fall of the towers or the Pentagon.

My memory I will never for as long as I live forget that day. Brian had just come home from working a midnight shift at the guard and was in bed when I got a call from my dad to turn on the television. The girls, who were in second grade, Kindergarten, and just a toddler, and I watched the second tower get hit, watched both fall, and watched the Pentagon get hit! My second grader and kindergartner knew this was not good and hung on every word while still trying to get ready for school.

And then the call came to wake Brian, his MSgt called saying he had to come back in and we did not know when he would be back. This was the first time we had ever considered as a guardsman he would go to war. This was the first time I truly understood in a new way what it meant to be a military wife. This was the first time that I realized what was stolen from our country and how much more we could lose.

My father wanted me to keep the kids home that day – our answer was to fight back against terrorism and send them to school.

All of this was occurring while knowing that Brian’s father-in-law was somewhere in Manhattan at one of the towers, which we did not know. It would be 24 hours before we would learn it took him all day to return to New Jersey and he was ok. When Tom died many years later I think most of us knew that he was another victim of the towers and the debris he breathed in as he walked home that day. Before Tom died I had cross-stitched him a piece that had the twin towers on it and a reminder that we would never forget – the look in his eyes said it all – a loss that was felt until the day he died.

Years later I am reminded of friends who have committed suicide, military members who have fought and lost more than life, and families who kept the home fires burning and yet lost too. As we come upon this day I encourage others to never forget. Remember this day, remember what it cost. Remember what it is still costing. Remember that the fight is not over, but it should not be against each other – brothers and sisters of this country. Do not let politics, religions, gender, class, or culture get in the way and make you forget that on 12 September 2001 we were ONE!

A Few Things on My Mind

Hello!

This blog will be full of hot topics that have been poking at me for some time now. So buckle up and prepare for a swath of topics

Many of you know I am a real advocate for those with disabilities, ensuring they have a voice. And I am not just addressing disabilities because of physical or mental issues born into a person but also those created out of trauma. So, moving along this subject line…

• If a person has a disability, the worst thing a parent, sibling, spouse, etc., can do is take away choice

• and voice from that person. I made the poor decision to remove a child’s voice out of fear and concern. Unfortunately, the development of that decision has given licenses for others, including her sisters, to insist she be in a bubble rather than allowing her to utilize a voice that too often has been silenced by good intentions but a poor path. While some disabilities demand certain decisions and do not allow for choice, repeatedly, that is just an excuse. As the parent of an adult child, I have learned that too often, I put my child in a bubble to protect her, but instead of protecting her, I took away her voice and ability to choose for herself what was and wasn’t suitable for her. By doing this, I set an example of how others should treat my child. Unfortunately, it was a poor example to follow. So, the lesson here is that a person with a disability who is mentally competent should be allowed to make their own decisions for their body. The new word being used is medical autonomy…and it is true.
• A person with a disability who requires a service dog is often bamboozled with people who do not know service animal etiquette. Recently my daughter was shopping locally, and a woman walked her kids over to her and her service dog and told the children to stay there and play with the dog while she shopped. Usually, my daughter is ok with petting if asked first, but this lady just assumed. When the lady was corrected for her behavior, she immediately used a rather foul language to describe my daughter for failing to allow her children to use her service dog as a babysitter. “Whether the dog is in service or training to serve, the rule is: don’t touch or distract him. This is because interacting with a working or training dog could put the other half of his team — his owner — in harm’s way.” [1] These rules are broken down further for those who think they can’t resist petting
  • Speak to the owner, not the dog.
  • Don’t touch without permission
  • Keep dogs a distance away from working dogs
  • Do not offer food to service dogs
  • No matter what, treat all people with sensitivity and respect
  • Do not make assumptions about a service dog
  • Do inform the handler if their dog approaches you
  • Never assume service dogs just get to be dogs.
  • Service dogs have the right of way
  • Never feel sorry for a service dog
  • Know the law[2].

Just get over it. How often is this phrase said to those who have suffered a traumatic event? Well, it is another subject that is just getting my goat. A person who suffers a traumatic event cannot just get over it. While as counselors and other mental health professionals, it is greatly desired for those seeking assistance to do so as quickly as possible after an event, it does not always happen. Because of this, just getting over it may take years and sometimes never happens. It is rude and disrespectful for anyone to suggest that they get over it to another. For too many years, we have been a society that hid our inner demons and failed to get help…this standard makes it hard as we turn a corner and encourage asking for help to occur. Stop saying, “just get over it,” and encourage those around us that it is ok not to be ok and

to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness but rather strength. “Well, the sad truth is that often when we are told to get over it, the people in our life are not thinking about what is best for us. Rather, they are thinking about what’s best for them. Let’s face it—intense emotions are stressful to the people around us. They don’t like it. And as much as they may love or care about us, if it comes down to their distress versus ours, many people will want to ensure that their stress is managed—even if it is at our expense. And so, when our friends and loved ones tell us to get over it, what they are telling us is that we are stressing them out, and they can’t take it anymore”[3]. Instead of telling a person to “just get over it” how about, we realize that the pain they are suffering through is part of their journey. Next, let reality set in that there is no magic timetable for when anyone heals – we are all different and unique. Lastly, be there. 

I am a strong conservative Christian! But unfortunately, by saying those words, many people will create this box they believe I belong in. It is a box that some would label as Trump-supporter, pro-life, indoctrinated, second amendment gun-toting, Bible-thumping, radicalist…feel free to add whatever term that comes to mind. While I do associate to a degree with some of those terms, those aren’t what I want others to think about when they realize I am a Christian. I want them to remember that I did my best to love the way Jesus did.  So often, those who hold these labels are considered strict and judgmental Christians who do not believe in tolerance, etc.  Unfortunately, this is what the word Christian has come to mean. 

Jesus had one word that was part of his instruction that came up again and again: to love.

Not to love those that we are like, but to love everyone. A change I recently went through allowed me to stop being a critical, judgmental Christian rather than someone I hope Abba truly wishes me to be like.

Because of this change in attitude, I can look at my daughter, who identifies as a bisexual feminist and say, ok, but I still love you. It allows my youngest daughter to introduce me to her friend Rose, a transgender woman, and not be afraid of how I will react. It allows me to be a friend to my colleague, a married homosexual woman, and not be scared when she hugs me. It allows me to be a confidant to a black man, hold his hand in prayer, and not be afraid. It allows me to run to help a Muslim woman who drops her groceries at her car and not be frightened of her. It allows me to cry and be disgusted when one of my newest friends has to go through an emergency PCS because his family is being persecuted in gruesome ways due to the color of their skin.

So knowing this and my feelings on diversity, where does that lead me next?

Let me ask this did you know that God is pro-choice?  “Goldberg is right that God gives human beings

choices, but he also expects us to live with the consequences of our choices. In Deuteronomy 30:19, God tells the Israelites, “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live.” Jesus makes it clear that in the final judgment, we will be judged based on the choices we made in life. Those who failed to love their brothers as they love themselves, Jesus says, “will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life” (Matt. 25:29).”[4]That does not mean that God will not judge us in the end for the choices we make; it does mean that it is not our job to stand on the street corners and shout down the women who make that choice. Instead, we need to show them the love of Jesus. 

Bad People, Not Bad Animals. In July, I was bit and scratched by a cat at the shelter. I was more than a little shocked as this particular kitty had shown nothing but affection in the kennel and initially in the playroom. But as I rubbed it and my hand went to its hindquarters, it turned on me swiftly. I knew something was wrong with this kitty, as cats don’t just turn like that. Carefully with blood dripping, I placed the cat back in the kennel, let someone at the shelter know what had occurred, and placed a quarantine on the cat. I knew in my heart of hearts that this sweet animal was not vindictive or mean; rather, there was something wrong with it internally. I checked on the sweet kitty every day while it was in quarantine, and finally, the decision was made by the vet that the cat had to be euthanized due to what is kitty fibromyalgia. I could not let the cat be put to sleep without someone there that would love it and be there for it as it breathed its last – someone who did not hold against it. So on that Sunday, Charlie was put to sleep in a quiet room. This could have been prevented if Charlie’s owners had been attentive to its needs and didn’t just drop it off at a shelter like discarded garbage. I see a lot of these kinds of issues at the shelter. People drop off animals they think are problems or have problems because they are unwilling to give the time needed to care for an animal that will love them truly. I guess that is part of why I love volunteering – to show these animals the love they have longed for and miss.

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[1] “Service dog etiquette — Paws of war,” n.d.

[2] LTHQ, 2021

[3] (Sills, 2021)

[4] How to answer the “God is pro-choice” Argument. (2020). Catholic Answers, Inc. https://shop.catholic.com/blog/how-to-answer-the-god-is-prochoice-argument/

Cheyenne Animal Shelter and Volunteering

I began volunteering for the Cheyenne Animal Shelter (CAS) in any role I could back in May. I will be the first to admit I think I get more out of it than I ever give to CAS, as it is like a wonderful form of therapy where I spend time with all the different animals. Thought I would share all the animals I have had the pleasure of being a part of that have found homes over the months.

A Month in Pictures: May

Shelter Kitty

Durango

Our Little Bee

Trevor

Collette

Tavia

Sandy

Cotton

Cotton

My Sweet Tootles Sleeping in Dad’s Chair

Jerry

Jerry

Lilly

Lilly

Jax

Jax

Daisy

Jesse James

Oli

Our Lady Bug

Everything above is sweet shelter kitties or our own love bugs. Most have been adopted, but it has been such a joy this month to give back to these sweet kitties and pups. Please stop by the Cheyenne Animal Shelter as there are plenty more animals looking for their forever homes!

Affirmations have become such an important part of my everyday life and liking who I am and do not care what others think! It is so important for each of us to have self-care and refill our wells; especially if we are serving others.

My beautiful

This is how so many of Tim and I’s picture look

Selfie

Jamcoa Ice Cream

Moving the Kids

Flying Hight

My office in a disarray as we are under construction

Looking through the white cherry trees at work

New friends on the porch

Live TV for our cats

Remembering

POWs

Remembering

Remembering

My flowers are in

My flowers are in

My flowers are in

My flowers are in

My flowers are in

My flowers are in

The future of MOPS and military spouses

Laurie our fearless leader who is one of the strongest women I know

Dottie: the one who reminds us to take care of ourselvesghan

Mandy a woman with an amazing heart and awesome cook

Cythia: our very own disney princess

Meghan our new mommy to the group but just as vibrant and alive

As I said we serve many others, from what we do at work to groups we may volunteer at. These are the places I love to serve.

For those that know me walking is something I just do to stay healthy, to like me, and for mental health. Well here starts the pictures as it is safe to walk outside again. This is from walking the perimeter at Little America.

Marriage Counseling

Identify three essential biblical teachings about marriage that will inform your counseling approach. How will you incorporate these three biblical teachings when counseling Christian and non-Christian couples? Discuss any potential challenges you anticipate when counseling couples who are not Christians or have a little biblical foundation. Be sure to interact with course materials, outside sources, and the Bible

Location, location, location! These three words that Dr. Scott Hawkins and Dr. Ron Hawkins addresses say it all, but it seems to be the picture that all three-course materials appear to zoom in on, i.e., focus must be on God and the relationship in comparison to it. The other thing that seems to be focused on is that couples that come to counseling are not doing it because they are determined to end the relationship; rather, just the opposite, they do not want to see it end. 

One of the primary teachings I would focus on when counseling on marriage is that marriage is an “other-centered union” (Heffernan, 2002). Marriage cannot be about one person but is three persons of a triangle: God, man, and woman (“God created marriage as a loyal partnership between one man and one woman” (Heffernan, 2002)). The needs of the spouse must come before the needs of self. In the Message, it says,

“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage” (“Bible gateway passage: Ephesians 5:21-28 – The message,” 2018).

            When a couple comes to counseling, it is generally because there are problems they do not know how to solve. In Couples Therapy, one of the best things they emphasize when starting this journey is that relationships are improved by “faith working through love” (Ripley & Jr., 2014, Kindle Location 238). When a couple is in trouble, they have lost faith in what Ephesians 5.21-25 says. They have lost faith in love. 

            The second teaching I will focus on is that divorce is not an option. As Dr. and Dr. Hawkins put it, there will be a cease and dist order placed where no one should think about divorce, consult with an attorney, etc. So often, as a society, both Christians and non-Christians want an easy fix, and often for some, that looks like divorce. Especially with a married couple, I would remind them that God detests divorce (“For I hate divorce!’ says the Lord, the God of Isreal. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” (“Bible gateway passage: Malachi 2:16 – New living translation,” 2015)). I would remind the couple that they are in counseling because they cannot stand the idea of losing the other and that it is time to rebuild that marriage to withstand any storm presented before it (Moitinho & Moitinho, 2020, p. 42). 

            Divorce topics can be touchy, especially for those in a second marriage who need to be reminded that God gives second chances. As a married woman, in a second marriage, I understand the shame and feeling of being judged by those around me, especially in the church. However, as I read the Old Testament, I see all the great examples of leaders “who fell far short of God’s standard” (Willis, 2016) but still found blessings and new beginnings with God. 

            The third biblical teaching I would focus on is communication. Too often, whether as Christians or non-Christians we see communication as one reason why relationships (not just marriage) fail. The first thing I would ask of the couple is to respond and not react when speaking to one another. Honest must be the first thing they focus on but to do it in love (“Instead we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church (“Bible gateway passage: Ephesians 4:15 – New living translation,” 2015)).

These teachings can be incorporated by both Christians and non-Christians. While with a Christian couple, it will be much easier to incorporate these at the beginning of the sessions, explaining my top three essential teachings to start and having that in contract form, as Dr. Ron Hawkins suggests. For the non-Christian couple who is not interested in counseling from a Christian perspective, this is still the same concept only done without the value of Bible references. An explanation to non-Christians that marriage is not about self but rather about the other, divorce will not be an option to discuss in counseling. Lastly, communication will only be done in truth and love. There are challenges when counseling non-Christian couples, the most significant being that there is a lack of salvation. The second is that they do not understand that marriage is a gift given by God and thus explaining that it is not always an option as it would be with a Christian couple. There may be no overcoming these obstacles but what can be done is to share one’s faith through action.

References

Bible gateway passage: Ephesians 4:15 – New living translation. (2015). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4.15&version=NLT

Bible gateway passage: Ephesians 5:21-28 – The message. (2018). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5.21-25&version=MSG

Bible gateway passage: Malachi 2:16 – New living translation. (2015). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Malachi+2.16&version=NLT

Heffernan, C. (2002, January 1). God’s design for marriage. Focus on the Family. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/gods-design-for-marriage/

Liberty University. (2019, February 8). Introduction to Marriage Counseling. Liberty.edu. https://canvas.liberty.edu/courses/205829/pages/watch-introduction-to-marriage-counseling?module_item_id=25206293

Moitinho, E., & Moitinho, D. (2020). The dream home: How to create an intimate Christian marriage. Kendall Hunt Publishing.

Ripley, J. S., & Jr., E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach. InterVarsity Press.

Willis, D. (2016, January 9). 8 surprising teachings about marriage in the Bible. Dave Willis. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/8-surprising-teachings-about-marriage-in-the-bible/