Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the blog writter and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent.
The month of April is known as Sexual Assault Awareness Month around the world. It is during this month that often military Sexual Assault Prevention & Response (SAPR) Teams will host significant events to bring awareness to the subject of sexual assault and awareness. The 90th MW/SAPR Program is similar; the first part of the month for the SAPR team at F.E. Warren Air Force Base (FEW) comprised of advertising. Getting out amongst the people giving out business cards and candy at gates with the first sergeants or sitting at tables visiting with people during their lunches was all a big build-up for three major events dominating the talk on the installation.
Mayra Guillen from the #IamVanessaGuillen Foundation flew to Denver, Colorado, from Houston, Texas to speak to the men and women at FEW. I was privileged to pick her up and be her assistant and chauffeur for the day she was in Cheyenne. What a privilege to hear an amazing and strong woman talk about her sister, the tragedy that occurred, and what has since occurred in the SAPR world as a result of Vanessa’s needless death. Over 600 people packed the FEW theater to hear Mayra. FEW was the first military installation after Vanessa’s death to invite Mayra to speak and follow through, and we made sure to leave a lasting impression that we pray will leave her wanting to come back and compare all her other visits to this one. It is my hope, with the help of sponsors, that next year, for SAAM, we will be able to dedicate a bench at the front of the installation to Vanessa’s Guillen and the Start by Believing concept. Already we have seen the impact that this woman has made just at FEW.
SARC, Becki Burke and Marya GuillenThe theater was packed for Mayra Guillen
Following Mayra, we invited another impressive woman and survivor to teach at our gym on self-defense. Mrs. Sarah Falen-Tate is an impressive woman who is an attorney and advocate for our farmers and ranchers and teaches self-defense. Thanks to her daddy, who believed it essential for his children to learn self-defense Sarah was able to escape an attempt to kidnap, rape and assault her while she was out on a highway in Wyoming alone. She uses that knowledge to teach others how to be cognizant of their surroundings and, if necessary, the basic steps to escape if the need arises. This is the second year we have had Sarah at our installation, and she never fails to bring the heat. We look forward to her returning to teach more men and women at FEW.
Mrs Sarah Tate teaching self defense
Finally, the 26th of April arrived, and our team would make sure that the Annual SAPR 5K and Resource Fair finished the month with a bang. With only 52 people signed up to run and attend, we saw that the men and women at F.E. Warren Air Force Base would surprise us once again with over 100 people walking/running on a cold and blustery day, and then upon finishing heading to the Trails End for breakfast courtesy of the First Sergeants and coffee from Scooters Coffee and a wealth of information on self-care from the following organizations: SAPR, Chaplain Corp, the JA, Guard Prevention, Outdoor Recreation, Military One Source, 90/MW Prevention, Cheyenne Animal Shelter, Hands on Physical Therapy, Blue Federal Credit Union, Military One Sources, and many many men and women who assisted with set-up and tear down. We started with over ten tubs of swag to give out, and when we returned, we had less than two.
The conclusion of SAAM was amazing with more runners than anticipated and a fantastic resource fair.
April was an incredible month here at FEW. I look forward to seeing what Becki Burke, our new SARC, does with this program and how she takes it to new levels of trust and acceptance by both leadership and the men and women we serve.
So this is going to be that kind of rambling post about multiple topics when I realized in reality they weave into one another!
Ahhh…that feeling you get when you have cleaned out your closet of clothes you don’t wear or are too big! That is exactly what I am doing this week. I have a tote I will be taking to someone this week. It is such a good feeling to remove clothing from my closet because they are too big. It is a sign I am losing weight, getting healthier and taking care of me.
When I was in high school I had this little 100lb body that easily fit into size 0 and 1s. I didn’t exercise and ate whatever I wanted never thinking that not only did I have a family tedency to be overweight but also that I could lose my high burning metabolism. That little girl in high school always had other worries that consumed her: being pretty enough, or knowing and being with the right friends. Fast foward 30 years to a 49 year old woman who has birthday four daughters and faced health challenges amongst other things I now weight 155lbs. This is huge as I have seen 250lbs at one point. In 2015 I made the decision to take control of my life and body by not oly shedding weight but also stopping a pharmaceutical-chemistry set-up in my own medicine cabinet and body. I no longer would be ruled by presciptions, begin walking and living again on my own terms. Today I make it a point to get in 10,000 steps, and multiple flights of steps. In addition to that I do intermitten fasting, where regularly I do not eat for 20 hours and then only have an hour or two of feasting. Is my relationship with my body perfect? No, but as with any relationship it is a work in progress. Somedays I love how it looks and other days…I keep reminding myself I am fearfully and wonderfully make and that all things are from God.
If money wasn’t an issue…what wouldyou do tomorrow if you won the lottery or had a rich relative who left you with enough money that you could do whatever you wanted the rest of your life? I am sure we all dream and imagine what we would do if money would no long be an issue. Many would buy lavish items like cars, clothes, houses, etc. But is that really what makes life better? Do you know many of the millionaires and billionaires out there do not live in big fancy homes or drive fancy cars? Rather many live just like regular middle-class. According to many studies it is realtors, attorneys, and other high profile persons who seem to need to put on the airs even if their flat broke. So what would I do if money was no longer an issue…I would buy a home on 40-50 acres so we could have some cows, pigs, etc. My new home would be a modest three bedroom home. Just big enough to have guests but not so big it envelopes us with too much room. Yes we would probably buy a new car but nothing extravagant. My husband would probably just rather redo his engine and repaint the truck since we love it and hate the newer ones. My current vehicle is a 2016 Mazda CX5 that I love and does well for us when we travel. Of course my education costs would be paid off and any otherstanding bills for us and the kids. Beyond that we would take care of some needs for the kids and then with the help of a financial advisor we would work on investments so our wealth could grow and help our kids when we leave this earth. We would discuss giving to the church and military groups, and then traveling would be a must. Lastly using my education and Tim’s knowledge workng with our military and volunteering would be important.
This past Tuesday at MOPS we learned about what the year is going to be about and got to know each other just a little better. I thought I would expound and open others to comment as well.
This year in the Crossroads MOPS we will:
Befriend discomfort – In James 1.2-4 it tells us to consider troubles a great joy. When faith is tested endurance grows. Life is hard, and we often take the easy way to avoid “discomfort.” We avoid conversations because of confrontation. Don’t go on holiday because certain people are there. We hate our bodies because we didn’t work on healthier options. We have regrets…
Difference between Pain and Discomfort
Be easily delighted – Psalm 18.19 says “He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me”. We are declaring this our year of delight. Can you believe how beautiful the world is and how delicious food can taste? How kind people are? It’s all so good. Yet sometimes, fun is the first thing to go between parenting, paying bills, and worrying about doing things right. All that changes this year. Because God delights in us, we will delight in the life we’ve been given. We’ll exude passion. We’ll learn to love what must be done and be captivated by the smell of our kids’ hair and our husband’s glances across the room. Be mindful of each action you take.
Be here now. Matthew 6.27 says it all, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” We are living in a world that is all about how much we can get done; as mothers we are multitaskers. This year MOPS is reminding us to remember our direction and not how fast we get there. Let us trust God for all our needs: home, family, friendships, marriage, work, etc.
There were a series of questions at each table for us to review after watching the video that explained the three tenants of our curriculum this year…let’s look and after seeing how I answer, think about what you would have said.
What is a weird thing you have spent too much time worrying about? I am a worry-wort, so I have had to think about this one. On the video the speaker said she knew a mom who carried scissors in her purse for when her kids got their shoestrings stuck in an escalator – that was her weird thing. So honestly compared to that mine aren’t weird…are my kids safe, did my husband make it to his destination, did I feed the animals…
Befriend discomfort: What is a small choice you can make that may require extra effort, but may change the trajectory of your day? I often can be heard saying will it matter in twenty years? I try to look at my actions and decide if fighting with my spouse will matter, will get upset about signing a key check out for work matters, etc. If it will not change my world then it is not worth being in the here and now.
Be here and now: When do you feel most out of control? What choices can you make in those moments so that your kids will remember them as moments of humor and joy? Money is usually the issue that makes me feel most out of control…I want to save and not spend, and my husband loves to spend so I often feel out of control. Now my kids are raised so this isn’t an issue I face with them seeing my behavior, but I often find myself praying over our bank account and that God will put a stop to Tim taking his debit card out of his wallet…amazingly enough these little breath prayers help a lot.
Be easily delighted – how can you place yourself on the path of delight this week? In 2020 I learned about being mindful. So often as wives and mothers, we are multitasking and trying to get as much done as we possibly can in short spurts. I am not different – while I am washing dishes you will often find I have cleaner in the toilet, a load of laundry washing, and our shark robot vacuuming. All in the name of getting as much done as I can so I can have time for self-care or marriage care. But a person cannot do this kind of mindless activity all the time…occasionally you have to stop and enjoy each dish you wash, dry, and put away. When we mindfully enjoy what we are doing and don’t let our minds wander everywhere or multitask we can be delighted in the littlest things.
Challenge of the week – spend 15 minutes a day doing something that makes you happy, then come back and tell us all about it. I am actively spending 15 minutes each day to focus on my health through walking and the small exercises I do before bed.
So, after we enjoyed a great video on what MOPS is we did Speed Friending (think speed dating). We would introduce ourselves and have a series of 20 questions we could ask our new friend. For those who attended did you ask all 20 questions, were you asked all 20? Let’s compare answers. (I am going to reword the questions just slightly)
What has been your happiest moment in life? I honestly cannot think of just one happiest moments. I have been blessed to have three beautiful daughters who are healthy and living their best lives and an amazing husband who loves me beyond belief.
What has been your hardest moment in life? In the coming weeks, we will talk about grief – grief from losing a loved one to death, a dream that dies, or a job lost…my hardest moment was losing a daughter by choice. My oldest made the decision after her father and I divorced that she would sever all ties with me and would not even allow me to recognize her children as my grandchildren. It has been one of the hardest moments in my life to accept and not continually grieve over. There is a line in a movie I love to watch (and do watch pretty frequently) where the female star says to the Devil, “And another thing, I am so sick of you stealing my joy, but that’s changing too. My joy doesn’t come from my friends, it doesn’t come from my job, it even doesn’t come from my husband. My joy is found in Jesus, and just in case you forgot, he has already defeated you, so go back to Hell where you belong and leave my family alone!” In all the heartache of the decision my daughter has made I am reminded while I may grieve to see her and know her and her children, my job does not come from her or my granddaughters. My joy is found in Jesus.
What is something you will never forget about in your life? Like so many mamas I will say things like the day my daughters were born, or the day I married my husband…but there is another time I will never forget. In 2020 when it seemed like the world was falling apart, I was finding mine, I was figuring out who I am, and was recommitting myself to Abba-Father in a way I had not done before.
Name someone in this group who rocked your world and share why. I have never said this before, but Tiffany is someone who just made my year and loved me when she could have not known what a hard year it had been. While 2020 had been a year of growth…2022 was a year of difficulty. Tiffany at a meeting reached out and hugged me and told me she was glad to see me…it was this little act that rocked my world and made things ok!
What is something you wish you had known before today started? I do not often wish that I would have known if something had happened before it did occur…I have learned a valuable lesson that when I know something is coming I worry or play in my mind what my reaction should be over and over.
Name three people you are thankful for today! My husband, my children, and my tribe in MOPS.
What is your favorite activity to share from today and why? I love to serve others, so when I can do it and make someone else’s life a little easier I love to do it.
What is something special about your community? I have belonged to MOPS groups that were so large that you could never know everyone. It was impossible for some to even meet every person. With Crossroads this is a tight-knit group that while we are growing it, because of the small communities that populate it and the lifestyle led will always remain a group in which what community means is truly exemplified here.
If you could create a community mural depicting today, what would your theme/picture be and why? The theme would be friendship….and it would show women coming to a church from all stretches…to include our very own Tiffany arriving on foot with her little tribe. I wish I could draw because it would be so beautiful…my picture would not have faces just bodies as they walked, drove, etc. to the church with their food, and objects to share within their community.
What moment from the day was special to you? I always love getting to visit with my mamas and love on them.
What is a word that represents the experience of the MOPS speed friending? So easy…that is what community looks like!
Was there any part of today when you felt lonely? This is one of those questions I am changing…I woke up at 0130 and all the lights were on in the kitchen and living room. My first thought was either my husband had overslept or was still home and I would get a kiss before he left. I got to the living room and there was no husband, my excitement dwindled and for a short moment I realized I was alone and that made me sad…I slept through goodbye and a kiss.
What part of the world would you like to explore in the future? In 7-8 years, my sweet husband will retire, and when he does, we would like for me to put in for an overseas assignment to Europe. Tim grew up over there, and I have never been outside North America…so it is time to travel, and if the military will send us even better.
If you could change something from today, what would it be and why? As with so many other things we think about, and do I try not to focus on what I would have changed. There is a saying that our rearview mirror is so tiny because we should focus on yesterday, and our windshield is so big because we need to focus on the here and now.
Did you gain any insight about yourself or your community today? It does not matter our age, gender, sex, or religion…community is essential.
Did you shed any negative energies today and how? This was the easiest question…I met with my boss’s boss and asked him to disregard a complaint I lodged against my boss. Letting him know that our office and the energies in it had taken a turn for the positive was energizing and allowed me to release that stress.
What is one thing you learned today? I think this goes back to question 15. But the answer to this and a second thing I have learned is that you cannot make everyone happy all the time.
What is one story from today that you can share with your best friend? I shared many stories from today with my best friend, from talking to another mentor mom and getting to know her, to realizing that someone I met last year speaks my husband’s language as a driver.
Did you make any friends today and how? When I brief at the base one of the things, I say is that communication is key to survival as humans. Communication through speed friending was so fun and I got to learn a lot and enjoy some amazing ladies.
What will you take from today to do better tomorrow? I was reminded to be in the here and now and delight in the little things.
Finally, is our Devotion. Just in case you did not make it home with it or lost it, here it is:
In chapter 4 of Zechariah, Zerubbabel was working on rebuilding the temple. (Yep, that was his real name!) Up until this point in history, Solomon’s Temple stood in the city of Jerusalem. It was the pride of the Jewish nation. People traveled great distances just to see it. It was the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower, and the Taj Mahal of its day. But to the Jewish nation, it was much more than just a grand building, it was their center of worship. Eventually, this gorgeous temple was destroyed by King Nebuchadnezzar’s armies. After years of captivity, a new king came along and allowed some Jewish leaders to return to Jerusalem and begin the work of rebuilding the temple and the city. Work on the new temple was progressing, but the people were frustrated because this temple was not as grand as the first one, and the work was progressing slowly. Zerubbabel was leading the work and was faced with political conflicts. They were surrounded by nations that wanted him and the entire Jewish nation to fail.
For 16 years, work on the temple stopped. The surrounding nations felt like they had won; Zerubbabel and the others in charge of the project felt like failures. Most of the citizens had given up hope that it would ever be accomplished and had gone on to do other things.
But one day, the word of the Lord came to a man of God named Zechariah. At that time, that’s how God spoke to the people. He would send a trusted prophet with a message. Zechariah said to Zerubbabel, this is what the Lord says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. (Zechariah 4:6 NLT)
Zechariah reminded Zerubbabel that this whole project had very little to do with him but had everything to do with God and what God wanted to happen.
Zechariah goes on to say, “Do not despise these small beginnings. For the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” (Zechariah 4:10 NLT) The surrounding cities despised what was happening, some Jewish citizens despised it because it wasn’t as good as Solomon’s temple, and others despised it because it was taking too long. But the Lord was rejoicing over the work that had begun there – and he was promising that the work would be completed.
How often do we follow the example of this Jewish nation? How often do we get discouraged because we are comparing what we have to what someone else had before? How often do we let things less important than the work at hand distract us? How often do we think that bigger is better? How often do we give in to the belief that fast and furious is so much better than slow and steady?
But think about it, most of the things we do in life are made of small steps. Just about everything starts tiny – babies, buildings, cities, churches, families, relationships. Without the small steps, there would never be big things. God works in the small stuff. We just don’t always see him there because we are looking for bigger and better.
This story about building the temple is mentioned in seven different places in scripture (Ezra, Nehemiah, Haggai, Zechariah, 2 Chronicles, Isaiah, and Daniel). It was a small temple being built by a small group of easily distracted people, but it ended up being a really big deal.
God rejoices over small steps, and so should we. When we do, we may see later that the small things were big things.
What small thing are you involved in? I am a busy bee so I am involved with a lot of little things! I volunteer at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter, with Cheyenne Frontier Days, as a Key Spouse for the 90th Operations Group, and finally as a mentor mom for all of you! All of these are small things I can do to serve God and those around me. I may never see the impact from it but it is the small things that lead to others doing big things.
What do you think God may be doing through it now? Honestly, I quit trying to figure out what God’s plan was because too often I would get it wrong…I was blessed when I first was part of MOPS (many, many, many moons ago) to have a lady walk up to me several years after I had been serving in MOPS and my church and thank me for being an example of what a Christian woman should look like. I was shocked because I am not perfect, have many flaws, sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble, etc. but I had done something small that had made a big difference in her life, and she had come to God.
How can you better embrace the small things in front of you? This answer will be different for each of us. I love to journal and write down the little things and see over the years what has occurred. What will you do?
Have a blessed day and I look forward to our next MOPS together.
alittledoseoflivingoutloud 