The War Room, directed by the Kendrick Brothers in 2015, is a fantastic movie that offers hope to those suffering a variety of struggles, specifically in this film, marriage. It provides the weapons needed to fight for one’s marriage: hope and prayer. Offering hopefulness through prayer is the key to repairing relationships that pursue counseling.
The Review
This is a movie about a woman, a Titus 2:3 woman, who asks God to send her another woman that she can “train the younger women to love their husband and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands” (“Bible gateway passage: Titus 2 – New living translation,” 2015). Ms. Clara is a friendly, elderly widow who has suffered from her difficult marriage and lost her husband as a young woman to a heart attack. She raised her son in Christianity and became a strong prayer warrior. As an older woman, she prepares to sell her home and needs the assistance of a real estate agent; in steps Elizabeth Jordan, a woman who is a lukewarm Christian who fights more against her husband than with or for him. The other two characters in this film are Elizabeth’s husband, Tony, and daughter Danielle. Tony works as a pharmaceutical representative who is more concerned about scamming products from his employer, spending money on things he should not, including dinner with a woman who was not his wife. Danielle is their daughter who wishes she lived with her friend Jennifer because her friend’s parents do not fight; she also worries that her parents do not love her because they don’t see her. This is the story of Elizabeth finding the Lord again, finding prayer, and realizing that her joy does not come from her marriage, her friends, her children but the Lord. As Elizabeth finds the Lord she also finds that the greatest weapon she has to fight for her marriage is prayer. It is through the prayers of Ms. Clara and Elizabeth that the audience sees a battle that occurs
“not against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” (“Bible gateway passage: Ephesians 6:12 – New living translation,” 2015). It is also through these prayers that Elizabeth realizes that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and that we hear a monologue that sums up what the whole movie is about:
Ms. Clara: “If I were you, I would get my heart right with God. And you need to do your fighting in prayer! And you need to kick the real enemy out of your home with the word of God” (Kendrick, 2015).
Elizabeth: “I don’t know where you are, Devil, but I know you can hear me. You have played with my mind and had your way long enough! No more! You are done! Jesus is the Lord of this house, and that means there’s no place for you here anymore! So take your lies, your schemes, and your accusations and get out in Jesus’ name! You can’t have my marriage, you can’t have my daughter and you sure can’t have my man! This house is under new management and that means you are out! And another thing, I am so sick of you stealing my joy, but that’s changing too. My joy doesn’t come from my friends, it doesn’t come from my job, it even doesn’t come from my husband. My joy is found in Jesus, and just in case you forgot, he has already defeated you, so go back to Hell where you belong and leave my family alone” (Kendrick, 2015)!
Therapeutic Implications
The marriage described in this movie is volatile and full of anger and bitterness. It desperately needs to be strategized to help fight for it by promoting love, faith and work, and second wait power, especially in the case of this marriage where Elizabeth Jordan must wait on the Lord. In Couple Therapy, the authors emphasize how important it is to instill the above strategy and increase motivation to help make tangible changes (Ripley & Jr., 2014). As Christians, especially those who must hope through love, faith, and work, waiting on the Lord means waiting for Him to deliver, answer prayers, renew our strength,
and do only what God can do. “Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top” (“Bible gateway passage: Psalm 37:7 – The message,” 2018).
As the movie is reviewed, it is evident that Tony Jordan has given up on his marriage, and it becomes the job of Elizabeth Jordan to fight for her marriage with hope through prayer. As offered through Ms. Clara (the counselor in this film), her weapon is prayer, perseverance, and patience. Elizabeth Jordan is encouraged to fight with the most critical weapon she has prayer.
“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—”bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it” (“Bible gateway passage: Jeremiah 29:13-14 – The message,” 2018).
While this hope-focused marriage faces some pain in order to be restored, it is evident that love, faith, and work are utilized to save it.
One of the hope strategies utilized after the reparation of the marriage is seeing the love bank of Tony and Elizabeth start to be filled up through different physical acts, including when he gives a foot massage to her (Gottman et al., 2007).
Personal/Professional Implications
As an older woman who has been mentoring younger women for several years now, I was drawn to Ms. Clara and her ability to live out the Titus 2 woman. Like her, I want to be that woman that others say lives the true walk with God and doesn’t just give a good talk. Ms. Clara is the Titus 2 woman, but she is a prayer warrior that intercedes for those she is counseling and mentoring. “He always prays earnestly for you, asking God to make you strong and perfect, fully confident that you are following the whole will of God. I can assure you that he prays hard for you and also for the believers in Laodicea and Hierapolis” (“Bible gateway passage: Colossians 4:12-13 – New living translation,” 2015). Professionally I will seek to mirror this type of woman in my own life.
I wish I had had a Ms. Clara in my life during my first marriage when heartache wracked our home due to several issues. But then, I did not know how to fight someone who was not a Christian and did not want to change and be better. Now I have these tools and frequently can be found in prayer for those around me, including my spouse, that he may know truth and love. “And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husbandbrings holiness to his marriage… Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you” (“Bible gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 – New living translation,” 2015).
Conclusion
This is a movie written and performed specifically for those going through battles influenced by things, not of flesh and blood. The movie offers hope for those not only going through marital troubles but also other spiritual battles that need to be fought not with guns and knives but with the spiritual weapon of prayer. It is highly recommended that those who wish to understand how to mentor others or need direction on fighting through worship watch this movie.
Gottman, J. M., Gottman, J. S., & DeClaire, J. (2007). Ten lessons to transform your marriage: America’s love lab experts share their strategies for strengthening your relationship. Harmony.
Kendrick, A. (Director). (2015). War Room: Prayer is a powerful weapon.
Ripley, J. S., & Jr., E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach. InterVarsity Press.
No one likes to talk about this subject, but maybe if we did more it would be less taboo and people would feel like they could ask for help more.
Landyn Medina, recently shared on a FB group I belong to his desire to open up this subject here in the Cheyenne community and make it less taboo, and be a light for those struggling in darkness. This is a complex subject to talk about, and often people do not want to talk about it because they either don’t understand it or know what to say. I have worked as a community resource counselor and a Christian unlicensed counselor for many years. So I want to respond to him and some others who commented and get some information out there. If you are not in Wyoming but would like to learn about resources in your state please do not hesitate to reach out to me and I will help you.
While you are correct that often we would like to chalk up our high rates to the Wyoming mentality, there is much more to it than just that (the Wyoming mentality can be found in many western states and some of the more outliers as well). An interesting statistic that goes with this is “The high suicide rate not only involves Wyoming but also includes Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Idaho, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Oregon, Arizona, and New Mexico in the lower 48. Sometimes, this group of states is referred to as “suicide alley or the suicide belt.” Alaska also has a high rate of suicides and is consistently ranked in the top five” (Overfield, 2020). Many people have hit on several of the reasons that it is believed that Wyoming and the states are in this “suicide alley.” We live at a generally higher altitude than other places leading to a lack of O2.
Additionally, we are isolated…Physically, we live in a state that makes us more isolated in certain parts, as you may travel 90 minutes to see another town (the I80 corridor is a perfect example of this). Again our weather has been suggested to play a part in our higher suicide rates – imagine when you are stressed and mentally down how the howling of that wind can sound. Finally, we do have lower access to mental health care. In Wyoming, we do have lower access – for example, we do not have a hotline for suicide (the only state in the Union that does not). Currently, if you want to call a hotline, it has to be the national suicide prevention line at 800-273-8255…with that, though, you may get handed off, and those there or in other states do not know what resources are available here. Those who want to text for help can text WYO to 741-741. Here specifically in Cheyenne, there is a crisis line for those feeling like they want to commit suicide at 307-632-9362; this goes out to Peak Wellness Center, now known as Volunteers of America Northern Rockies.
“Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States for all ages. There is a suicide every 12 minutes, and it takes the lives of more than 44,965 Americans every year. The highest suicide rates are whites, American Indians, and Alaska Natives. According to National Alliance on Mental Illness, only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major depression receive treatment. An estimated quarter-million people each year become suicide survivors” (Overfield, 2020).
Suicide does tend to be higher amongst men, but women have more suicidal ideation thoughts. The main risk factors we see are someone who has tried before to commit suicide, depression or a mental disorder of some kind, the abuse of alcohol or drugs, family violence that has led to physical, psychological, or sexual abuse, history of prison time, exposure to another who expresses said beliefs of committing suicide, medical disabilities, and the two age groups with the highest number of suicides are between 15-24 or our elderly.
It was mentioned that there are sure signs; yes, there are. For example, we watch for someone who talks about being a burden to others, withdraws from their regular activities, those who feel they are isolated from friends, family, or their community in general, excessive sleeping, an increase in the use of alcohol or drugs, experiencing moods that can be described as depressive, lost of interest, irritable, anger, or anxiety, and those who start giving away their prized possessions.
Some of the myths that we need to overcome with suicide are the following:
Myth: People don’t talk about committing suicide.
Fact: People who kill themselves have often said something to someone. As a people, we fail to listen and observe those around us genuinely, and we DO miss the signs.
Myth: If a person is serious about killing themselves and has reached that point, we can do nothing about it.
Fact: Often, the feelings of actively wanting to commit suicide are temporary, even when depressed, anxious, or struggling for long periods. This is why getting the right kind of support at the right time is so important.
Myth: You have to be mentally ill to think about suicide
Fact: 1 in 5 people have thought about suicide at some time in their life. And not all people who die by suicide have mental health problems when they die.
However, many people who kill themselves suffer from their mental health, typically severe. Sometimes it’s known about before the person’s death and sometimes not.
Myth: People who are suicidal want to die
Fact: The people who commit suicide do not want to die; they do not want to live with the life they have.
Myth: Talking about suicide is a bad idea in it may give someone the idea to try it.
Fact: As I said before, people often consider this taboo. And people who feel that way do not want to burden others with their feelings. But when we are direct and ask a person about it, we are giving permission for them to talk about it. As a result, those who are thinking about suicide have often felt unburdened and relieved when someone spoke to them about it.
Myth: Most suicides happen in the winter months.
Fact: While we often think of the winter months as blue months, this is not the time in which most suicides occur. More suicides happen in the spring.
Myth: People who say they are going to take their own life are attention-seeking
Fact: This is true and false. They are seeking attention and help, and by telling you this, they are asking you for help. Do not ignore this plea for help.
IF THERE IS A SUICIDE THREAT: Remember: It is a myth that people who threaten to kill themselves don’t do it.
ASSUME that any suicide threat is serious and treat it as a danger to the person’s life. A previous suicide attempt increases the likelihood that the person will act on the threat.
ASK the person in a calm, quiet setting whether he/she is thinking about suicide. Your questions can be indirect (“Do you ever think you should never have been born?”) or direct (“Do you feel like you want to die?”)
FOLLOW UP if the answer to these general questions is “Yes” and ask about specific suicide plans. When does the person plan to commit suicide? How? Has the person already acquired the means, e.g., pills, gun, etc.
DETERMINE the imminence of the danger based on the answers to these questions. A college freshman who describes a suicide plan for graduation day in four years is probably not in danger. A college senior who is graduating the next day is. Act accordingly.
CONTACT the person’s mental health or medical providers and repeat exactly what the person has told you.
HIDE all vehicle keys and any means that could be used for self-harm, e.g., medications (including over-the-counter drugs), knives including kitchen knives, guns, ropes.
KEEP the person sober. Suicide completers have high rates of positive blood alcohol. Intoxicated people are more likely to attempt suicide using more lethal methods. Be aware that the combination of alcohol and Tylenol can be lethal. Be sure there is no Tylenol available if the person is drinking.
DO YOUR BEST to persuade the person to get help voluntarily. Dial the hotline number, drive to the clinic, take a taxi to the ER. Do whatever is necessary to make getting help easy.
CALL 911 if the suicide attempt appears likely (Fuller, 2018).
Your job is to stabilize and get professional help quickly in any crisis!
If you have questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.
If you are struggling with suicide and need someone to talk my phone is on at all times. Please do not hesitate to call. I can be reached at 307-439-6567
My grandfather was an undocumented Eastern Cherokee Native American. My grandmother is an undocumented Pawnee. I cannot explain why my grandmother was undocumented, but it is well known that there was a fire many generations ago that causes the loss of many records for Eastern Cherokee. My grandfather grew up on the reservation in Oklahoma and then later moved to Fort Cobb before being drafted into the Army for World War II. I take great pride in my heritage, yet I have been raised in a white society, so I understand how to stand up for myself and not allow comments that others may take as culturally insensitive to affect me. Using that information and that experience, I speak to the problems that my Indigenous brothers and sisters face and the crisis within the tribes.
Introduction
Imagine that you cannot turn and talk to family, law enforcement in your area, and the other source that might help you, has long been considered the oppressor. This is what Native American women face every day as they try and find help for the crisis they face when they live with intimate partner violence and even death. The ending of the epidemic of missing and murdered women can be accomplished through a cultural awareness of the indigenous people, crisis counseling utilized in the proper context, and assisting the culture to embrace the use of spiritual applications to battle their demons.
If you sit and speak with the Amish of Holmes County Ohio, you will hear them speak of them and us.
Their culture has established a barrier between themselves and what they refer to as “Englishers.” This is because biblically, the Bible directs them to set themselves aside and not be like Gentiles. Native Americans face the same issues, only they have been told for so long to be like the white devil that they have forgotten to stand up against its oppressors. It is necessary for those who want to help Native American women to be culturally aware of each tribe of Native Americans as a whole and not press upon Native Americans someone else’s culture.
What does cultural awareness within First Nations look like? First, it must be recognized that Natives face three issues counselors must be aware of when educating themselves on culture: patriarchal societies, matriarchal societies, and the destruction and effect of white society. Each of these societal effects means a different way of looking at crisis counseling. The one thing that counselors need to be aware of is that there are 573 federally recognized tribes, and while there are three overall effects to consider, not every culture can be covered in this one paper (Afraid of Bear 2020). “Differences in cultural groups are closely related to regional differences and may be distinguished by their language or spiritual belief systems” (Department of Health and Human Services 2009).
Culture
Matriarchal society
Before European colonizers came to the American new world, tribes like the Cherokee and the Lakota Sioux were matriarchal societies. These were societies that women were free to lead, could marry if and when they wanted, could divorce without repercussion, and did not face domestic abuse issues. Women part of these types of societies did not have to worry about gender roles or feminism. All respected these women in the tribe because they were looked at as a person and not just a woman. While the white colonists could not understand what some referred to as a petticoat government, it was expected when colonists first came to the “new world” to sit with women and men of the Cherokee Nation to make decisions. This did make both groups uncomfortable as colonists believed women’s place was to be at home, versus the Cherokee at the time believed that all persons in the tribe at a right to lead and make decisions.
A tribe that was not affected by colonists and remained matriarchal is the Hopi. When a man and woman marry, the man moves to live in the woman’s home or near her family. She owns the home and everything in it. Women made and made the decisions within their society. They are both matriarchal and matrilineal (The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica 2019).
Patriarchal society
Gender roles amongst First Nations tend to differ based upon region and community significantly. The Hopi are a traditionally matriarchal society, while the Sioux are a patriarchal society with positions definitively handed down via the maternal line.
“Without question, Native women experience violence more frequently than non-Native women (Sokoloff and Dupont,38-64). Feminist intersectional approaches to this problem indicate these women experience a double bind of discrimination being both Native American and women. Moreover, the possibility that a woman will experience violence is likely to increase if she lives on a reservation and/or lives below the poverty line, which is common because unemployment is often high in these contexts. Furthermore, Native American historians note that traditional leadership roles for women have been devalued and often deliberately undermined by colonial forces based on Eurocentric patriarchal systems” (Le May 2016).
The same tribes that were matriarchal before colonization of the United States slowly turned patriarchal after an “if you cannot beat them join them mentality.” By 1827 the Cherokee Constitution had outlawed suffrage for the women of the tribe (Glickman 2017).
A woman of the tribe could no longer vote or hold office. The culture women had so enjoyed before colonization was decimated. According to the European colonist ideas, the idea of “if you cannot beat them join them” and becoming a civilized society quickly resulted in not what Natives thought was best practice but genocide.
White society
When the white European colonists came to this “new world,” they believed that they were the civilized society with their clothes, gender roles, and white ways. They thought that those who lived in this conquered world were savages. The song Colors of the Wind played in the Disney movie Pocahontas describe perfectly what the reality was regarding who was civilized and who was not:
“You think I’m an ignorant savage – And you’ve been so many places – I guess it must be so – But still I cannot see – If the savage one is me – How can there be so much that you don’t know – you don’t know…You think the only people who are people – Are the people who look and think like you – But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger – You’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew” (Kuhn 1995).
When the white settlers landed upon the United States and began meeting the Natives, they attempted to make them into people like themselves.
They told them that their culture was wrong, their religion was wrong, their society was wrong, and they were not civilized. As seen in the movie Dances with Wolves when Ten Bears asks the character John Dunbar how many white men will come, and he is told more than the stars in the sky, this speaks truth to what the First Nations saw as the settlers descended upon their lands, and pushed them further and further out.
Cherokee Tribes and other like tribes were far more civilized than European colonists as they had established egalitarian societies where both men and women were given equal rights. However, Native Americans were not considered equal.
In fact, of the more than 10 million Natives living in North America when colonists landed there, only 238,000 remained at the end of the 19th century (Fixico 2019). With the pushing of tribes to reservations, the United States government has forced Natives to live under a government that has lied, cheated, killed, starved, stole lands, and destroyed cultures. “Whether Native American tribes like the Cheyenne who befriended the white man even changed to Christianity and yet lost their lands and were forced to move” (Franson 2020). It is interesting that a group of people who escaped from Europe and religious oppression became oppressors to those different from themselves. Because of this historical trauma First Nations face further trauma because they continue “to live among and with the perpetrators of their trauma, the United States Government and its people” (Cash 2016, 330).
Counseling
When dealing with those who have suffered due to historical trauma or crisis at intimate partner violence, it is important not to label them as victims, especially as this can have cultural references that do more harm than good. Because of the oppression of white people, counselors must keep this in mind as intergenerational trauma. Thus, their job is to develop self-confidence, manage antipathy, and create constructive cultural and ethnic socialization (Wilkins, et al. 2013). Another tool that can be utilized with Native Americans going through the crisis of domestic abuse due to historical trauma is Emotional Emancipation Circles (EECs). EECs are evidence-based and traditionally compatible with their strengths-based method toward restorative shock (Barlow 2018). These treatments are founded on cognitive-behavioral therapies (CBT) that label how a person is exposed to a traumatic ordeal or absorbed in it generationally recognizes the shock. While the knowledge of historic hurts is new and no “evidence-based treatments for historical trauma have been found” (Williams-Washington & Mills, 2018, p. 257), the culturally thoughtful application of CBT can be used. In most cases, when a culture uses the term historical trauma, it is essential not to allow third and fourth generations to fall into the trap of historical trauma; with Native Americans, this is perceived differently since they live with their oppressors and oppression is still occurring. The treatments used to give attention to those of diverse cultures must be a mixture of CBT, and other treatments that address culture (Vaul-Grimwood and Le 2007).
As helping professionals begin helping those who are facing traumatic and intergenerational trauma that has led to the crisis, they must remember there are phases to address: motivational, intervention, and collective. Therapists must be educated in the historical context that has led to the crisis the First Nation people are in – this is documented as the motivational phase. When a helping professional is culturally proficient, they enter the intervention phase.
Finally, it is vital to recognize that historical traumas that result in crisis are systemic. As such, individual response is warranted, but so is a collective response. For those going through this kind of crisis, they need to name their problem and not just hide behind a stigmatism created by their culture. In the Legacy of Trauma, the author discourses hopeful intercessions but distinguishes the resulting:
identification of the problem
acceptance of self-care means
lessening of triggers like social media sources
not instructing novel or upcoming generations the activities that have steered to the shock instead appeal to them to remove themselves from the evil ideas they have been rooted in
Another issue that helping professionals must be mindful of when helping Indigenous people is that not all tribes have experienced historical trauma. However, those who have their physiological makeup can be changed because of the constant stress they are feeling due to perceived ongoing trauma. For those who see this kind of client, it is vital to converse with the primary care provider of medical care to take a whole-body approach. While the mind can be healed, when the stress of this magnitude is created, and there are ongoing stressors and the possibility of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), then a whole-body approach needs to be taken to help the issues the body that are affected (Brown-Rice 2013).
This constant historical trauma has led to a new crisis for Native Americans, one of which is violence against one another in the forms of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse, specifically towards women of the tribes. This cycle was created out of the genocide of First Nations:
With the killings and saving of white people.
Then First Nations crossed into self-medication through alcohol, drugs, and food (again introduced by the white man).
Counselors can see a movement into what is seen today with a crisis of murdered and missing women through interpersonal partner violence.
Finally, a tribe condones this behavior as normal because they have forgotten their culture and heritage (Kilson 2020).
Spiritual Application
No matter what our color, culture, or shape, we are all created in the image of God. “God created human beings in his image. In the image of God, he created them; male and female, he created them” Genesis 1.27 (Bible Gateway 2020). The Bible was regularly used when colonists came to the United States to weed out and kill the savages of the land. Many took verses from the Bible out of context as done in Joshua 24.13 where God told Moses, “I gave you land you had not worked on, and I gave you towns you did not build – the towns where you are now living. I gave you vineyards and olive groves for food, though you did not plant them” (Bible Gateway 2020).
Another verse that was regularly taken out of context by the colonists was Genesis 9.2, where God tells Adam, and renews the covenant with Noah, that all the land and that that lives on it belongs to man. Colonists used this reasoning to say that they landed in the United States, and all belonged to them because they were Christians. “Tragically, the First Peoples’ free exercise of peaceful religious practices and beliefs did not last forever. The arrival of conquerors and colonizers with weapons in each hand — a gun in their right and a bible in their left — would mean the widespread oppression, persecution, and condemnation of the spiritual beliefs and practices that were so central to the First Peoples’ lives” (Silpar 2018).
As helping professionals, it is important to remind clients that they need not be a slave to fear or to those who have oppressed in the past…” For you are a slave to whatever controls you” 2 Peter 2.19b (Bible Gateway 2020). It can be hypothesized that if First Nation people permit intergenerational trauma to govern them, we are indeed a slave to it.
“The term trauma, meaning “wound,” comes from Greek antiquity. The range of meanings attested at the time includes being severely hurt, physical wounds, wounding, (military) defeat, and psychic wounds. Over the centuries, studies of trauma have been part of various disciplines: mental health fields, literature, and the arts as well as religion” (Guerrero 2015).
The injuries found in people and the way they treat one another can find their origins in original sin. While Adam and Eve were forgiven their sins, their sin left a broken relationship between them and God, the Father that would be generational.
This broken relationship is seen not only in Genesis but through the generations. But God, the Father, had a plan to recapture His children into his presence when it was prophesized in Isaiah that a Messiah would come and be “pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed” 53.5 (NLT). As a Christian, I am reminded that no matter what my wounds are, no matter the oppression from others, God has “plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a hope and a future” Jeremiah 29.11 (NLT).
Conclusion
For as long as Indigenous people can remember, they have been oppressed by the people of the United States and its government. There has never been a time during those living that they cannot remember broken promises and treaties. Because of this oppression and living amongst those who oppress everyday Native Americans have fallen into a crisis resulting from historical trauma. This crisis has led to what some are now dialoguing and calling an epidemic of missing and murdered Native American Women. Much of the reason for this crisis is because of a cycle that was started with genocide, then moved into self-medication by natives, then to the normalizing of abuse of one another in the tribe, and finally the condoning of the behavior. This is what Native American women, and even men, face every day as they try and find help for this new form of crisis they face when they live with intimate partner violence and even death. The ending of the epidemic of missing and murdered women can be accomplished through a cultural awareness of the indigenous people, crisis counseling utilized in the proper context, and assisting the culture to embrace the use of spiritual applications to battle their demons.
As helping professionals, it is pertinent that they recognize these First Nation people’s historical context and what has led to this crisis of identity. Part of helping these people heal is by understanding the types of society each First Nation tribe comes from: matriarchal, patriarchal, egalitarian, etc. It is also essential to recognize that many First Nation societies were far more advanced in their thinking and understanding of their spirituality, (and in my opinion), who God is. However, as white people invaded their land, they refused to see this and instead wanted to either kill them or conqueror their way of living and replace it with what they saw as better.
Barlow, J.N. “Restoring optimal Black mental health and reversing intergenerational trauma in an era of Black Lives Matter.” Biography 41, no. 4 (2018): 895-908.
Kuhn, Judy. Colors of the wind. Comps. Alan Menken, & Stephen L Schwartz. 1995.
Le May, Genevieve M. “The cycles of violence against Native women: An analysis of colonialism, historical legislation and the violence against women reauthorization act of 2013.” Portland State University McNair Research Journal 12, no. 1 (2016): 1-24.
Vaul-Grimwood, M., and G. Le. “Introduction: Holocaust writing of the second generation.” Holocaust literature of the second generation, 2007: 1-30.
Wilkins, Erica J, Jason B Whiting, Marlene F Watson, Jody M Russon, and Allena M Moncrief. “Residual effects of slavery: What clinicians need to know.” Contemporary family therapy, 2013: 14-28.
Greetings and salutations from the Millers! It has been another exciting and, in many ways, exhausting year!
We miss you Spaz
2021 was the year of goodbyes for us. January saw us retrieving the ashes of our previous Spaz, who passed away at the end of December. Then we saw a farewell to Mr. Reggie after catching COVID-19. These would be the good-byes we didn’t want to say. But it would not be the last of them…
March saw me returning to school to work on my doctorate in counseling. Much of the first of the year also saw Tim at home more than at work due to medical issues. Thank God we learned the issue behind his medical…don’t let anyone ever tell you that stress can’t cause your body to shut down and not work right. With some applications and looking around, we saw several job offers in April and a final decision by the first of May…Tim took a job with ABF Trucking. This is where another good-bye would come into play…and one we were glad to see. Tim said goodbye to FedEx Freight, and we said goodbye to that dreaded apartment in Wamsutter. For the first time since we moved to Laramie, Tim and I would no longer be saying goodbye at the beginning of the week and hello at the end…instead, we are in the same house at least every other night.
Isn’t he handsome in his new uniform?
My military family and husband moving snow
What else did March see for us…a snowstorm that shut down Cheyenne and much of the area for a week. It was an impressive two feet of snow…it was fun to watch Tim and the other guys in the neighborhood trying to move the snow for at least walkways back and forth across the street. Or Tim making a path for Tuhla to do her business.
Good-bye…I had never really understood what the word meant as a guard military spouse, but now that I work for the DOD, I am learning it a lot. And the first of saying good-bye began in May and didn’t end until July with all the change of commands, with my squadron commanders. I am learning to understand that while it may be a good-bye for the time being that many of these people will either return or with making friendships, I will have friends all over the United States.
Tuhla and I walking
May and June were pretty busy for us. Not only did I have a lot of change of commands to work on, but new people in my office. Then Tim and I started working on better health…for me, which meant starting reflexology, seeing a nutritionist, and starting a whole new walking program. For me starting this new regimen has been the best thing possible and helped put my fibromyalgia into remission. This would also be when Tim and I would start with new doctors – he with one in Cheyenne and me in Laramie. But really the most memorable part for me has been really stepping up my walking regimen…On average I walked 7-9 miles every day until November and now it is 3-5 miles with half at work and the other half on my treadmill (thank you, Captain Cody Sanchez).
June would also see me commit to one last act with AFROTC with the University of Wyoming. I helped Liam, my son-in-law, to commission. It was an excellent time to watch this next step in the evolution of his career and the kid’s life.
Men who would become instrumental at the beginning of Liam’s career
We learned that July is a hectic month for our family. Because we were only two months into Tim’s job, we saw him doing pretty extensive traveling initially. I helped our leadership find the right clothes for Cheyenne Frontier Days (CFD). The military plays a critical role in CFD. Nearly every day, Faithe and I actively participated in various activities for the military and CFD…not one day went by where we didn’t walk-jog at least 20 miles. It was so good to see we could do it…Faithe and I have already decided to come next year, whether stationed elsewhere or here. She and I are going again…I will pay for the plane ticket. Along with volunteering at CFD events, we (Faithe and I) helped with Visit Cheyenne and their rodeo series as volunteers with tickets and parking.
Letting horse go to rest
July also allowed us to open our home to a family in need. It made us appreciate what we have and the relationship we have. It also confirmed that what I am pursuing an education in is correct.
August and September were reasonably quiet, but October blew in like a tornado. Tim went from an extra board runner to having a bid that takes him from Cheyenne Wyoming to Salt Lake City six days a week, with Thursdays off. I admit it took me a little bit of time to understand how his schedule worked (I don’t know why my brain made it so hard). But now I know and can schedule our time around it. We see him take a run, off when we want a little extra time off. This was also the month that I would lose my military counterpart and be told that the challenge would start when I did both jobs until at least mid-November. It was a great experience and let me appreciate my military counterpart more.
October was also when our feral mama kitty would have another litter of kittens…six of them. All six of them have gone to homes, including Luca, with some family friends in Laramie.
Mama Kitty and her litter of six
Our little Bumblebee – doesn’t he have cute toe beans
Luca the last rescue kitten – he loves his new home
Whoa, whoa, whoa…I forgot a minor detail for August that was pretty life-changing for our zoo….with one little phone call, I learned that a feral kitten I had been trying to catch had been caught and was in our basement. This sweet kitten was B of a group. Tim had named them A, B, and F. A, is mama kitty, and I finally caught her three days before Christmas (she will be warm and now to find her a home). F, also known as Ferdinand, went to live with another family, and B…well, sounds like a bumblebee (and moves like one too) and gets around like Gumby. Needless to say, we call him our little Gumby the Bumble Bee. My little Bee is lying behind me on my chair, purring away as I write this. I have continued to work with the feral kitties, and find them homes. The last kitten so far to find a home is Luca.
November was exciting as we spent the holiday with the kids and learned that Liam was considering giving up his pilot slot for a Missileer position. November rolled into a busy December as well. The first week of December, we saw much of I80 closed due to weather…closed for us meant that Tim spent two days in Laramie in a hotel and one day in Rawlins trying to find his way to Salt Lake City (SLC) on a singular run.
It looks like we will be spending our Christmas alone this year. Liam and Faithe will be headed to SLC on Christmas eve to spend it with Bree and her family. Codi and Nathan will be spending it in their new home…trying to catch a breath after a particularly rough last quarter of the year (please pray for our kids as they had a particularly hard goodbye this month). New Year’s Eve will see Tim driving again…please pray for his safety.
Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And I pray your 2022 is more restful and filled with much more peace than the last two years have been for many!
The Millers,
Tim, Tanya, Gizmo, Tuhla, and Bee
Enjoy our year in pictures, in no specific order…notice because we no longer have little ones at home that many of our pictures revolve around our fur babies!
My sweet Codi and VakaTea with Liam and Faithe – one of my favorite fancy activities togehterPlaying with dad’s bootsChasing stringTuhla hates her coatSister-Brother loveWaiting on blood work-upLord knows what we were laughing about – this I know we were at the hospital once againHalloween – I dressed up as a kitty tangled up in yarnStopping at Natural Bridge on way back from CasperWyoming roads are closed again to windNow you know why he is called GumbyBee zonked outAt the corn maze with the kidsRacing Cool decorations in Old TownCharlotte one of the members of our zooMOPS scavenger huntThere should be a revolving door for the Millers at the ER – punch card 2walkingcelebrated at workflowers from my honeyBee My little manTuhla and Gizmo hanging out in the sunWe love and miss youGoodbyes suckB & Ffeeding timeplay timefinally got our flag up around the clockplaytime at workBuffalo Chip TossBee before he came homeBee’s feline mamaGizmo and her boxAnd punch card 3…I took a nice fallTuhla and her pillowAnd we’re walkingjudging at 4Hnap timeCFDGrand Marshallfirst 5k5KGas Buy DownGas Buy Down 2021FTootlesHappy Birthday Nathan – I am so glad the kids are so close to visitHeaded to VIsit Cheyenne Hell on Wheels RodeoTuhla at her summer photo sessionCommissioning DinnerCommissioning CongratsFirst SaluteRank PinningTaking the OathHe is so handsomeTea with Faithe for Mother’s DayTeaABF got one of the best driviers everBirthday flowersTim and I laugh more and harder than we ever have – this is what love looks likeMarch snow storm did stop us from grillingTim moved snow so Tuhla could go outside and pottyMoving snowMarch Snow StormOut on a date with this guyFaithe and Liam’s new carFamilyFaithe and her cousinLiamBedtimeWe love and miss youMamaw and Liberty
As many of you know the Air Force ROTC program at the University of Wyoming moved from Wyoming Hall to Hill Hall in December. This was not an easy move as it really was downsizing. While our offices (minus mine) are bigger, we lost offices and space we had before. Of course, this move happened as we were entering into the Universities winter break when people would be gone for two weeks….
And so starts the drama of getting an entire detachment up and running.
I requested Faithe Dell of Arranged by Dell to donate her time and begin the process of putting the Detachment together. Here are pictures of three offices, a storage section, and the computer lab. She started with nothing in these offices and turned them into amazing offices.
Liaison Office – she literally started with nothing in this office but the walls and floor.
Computer Lab
Storage Room
If you are looking for someone who can simplify your area and organize it and yet make it look professional Faithe is the right person for you! If you are looking for someone who can make your home less cluttered, more simplified, and ready for the family Faithe is for you! Support this military wife and help yourself. Call Faithe with Arranged by Dell at 307-287-8092.
When people talk about love they often are referring to that honeymoon stage; this is when there are butterflies, and the desire to look oh so hot all the time, and chocolate and roses…but this is also when our hormones and endorphins are elevated so we don’t always see the reality of what this thing called love entails. A lot of those in love will see all that love, and roses, and chocolates as we come upon Valentine’s Day. But real love isn’t the stuff fairytales are made of.
I mean let’s look at some of these famous Disney quotes that everyone seems to think love is all about:
Listen up young ones! This is what your knight in shining armor looks like when you are in your 40’s. Yes, that’s my amazing husband who is arriving on the scene with his credit card because what you can’t see is me, standing next to a cart super full of groceries that I couldn’t pay for because I couldn’t find my wallet. Not sure you can tell, but he’s smiling at me. Yup…he had to leave work and he is smiling. His only words of admonishment were, “You’re not supposed to be grocery shopping I said I’d go this week.”Seriously. Young people, this is what love looks like when you’re old and it’s ridiculous how awesome it is. Love also looks like me coming downstairs to a full pot of coffee every morning because coffee is love. Love looks like all the lunches being made already so I can enjoy that aforementioned cup of coffee. Love looks like someone washing the dishes while his wife catches up on This is Us while plopped on the couch not helping at all. Love looks like a super patient dad doing the 5-year old’s homework with him every morning so I can get to work on time. Love looks like running to the store before bed after your wife has forgotten to buy milk because you know the morning will be easier if we can serve up some cereal. And you guys there were signs it would be this way so I have tips for you. In college this love looked like boyfriend running to the store for a danish I was craving or watching me and my friends on the dance floor long after he wanted to leave the bar or him being known across campus by the flower backpack he was carrying which of course was mine. Young people, listen. Do not be fooled by big, showy promposals and giant cards with candy bars glued to them with some cute saying or by your name spelled in pepperoni by a boy who’s asking you to homecoming. That isn’t the stuff that lasts and let’s be honest…moms are totally helping them with those things. Watch how he treats you when Instagram isn’t looking. That is where the signs are. Choose the man who will carry your too heavy flowered backpack in public because he will also be the man who bails you out at ALDI‘s when your 40-? with a smile and a hug. And that my friends are true love.
Love is not easy! My husband and I live apart during the week, and he travels 568 miles round trip every night, but without fail he stops in Cheyenne every night just to see me for a short ten minutes and steal a kiss. Love is making sure that he doesn’t have to worry about the bills, and ordering medical supplies he may need because I love him…it isn’t glamorous and it isn’t fun but love isn’t always those things.
Love is not getting upset because he is playing a game on the phone all the time while home, because I know when we go do things together I have his undivided attention. Love is true in the good, the bad, and the ugly! Love is not caring that he just got home, and your hair is greasy, sticking up everywhere, you stink and you’re still in your pajamas. Love is sitting patiently at Dillard’s, and JC Penney’s as she looks for that perfect dress. Love is following her wherever her job takes her because she finally gets to live her dreams. Does love have flowers and chocolate? Absolutely there is that too…every Valentine’s my sweet husband has flowers sent to my office. But more of our days and love revolves around the things that are hard, and are day to day! Love is coming home across roads most people wouldn’t drive on just because he doesn’t want to spend another minute without me, or going to the local Loaf & Jugg at 11:30p just to get gummy bears because she has a craving.
Three little words that can cause great heartache or immense pleasure when on things about the answer! In the movie “Overcomer” Thomas Hill says, ““Something or someone will have first place in your heart. But when you find your identity in the One who created you, it will change your whole perspective.” This is the theme for the movie…who are you? Too often we define ourselves by the roles we play on this earth…I am a wife, a mom, a divorced woman, an employee of the government, a civilian airman, puppy mom, student, and the list can go on and on. And often times the things we put the most energy into are the things that truly define us. A perfect example would be that person who says they love God with all their heart, mind and soul but yet most of their time is spent earning that extra dollar. While it is ok to make money, remember that it should not be where our heart is at.
“You can easily claim that you love God with all your heart, yet most of your attention might go towards making an extra dollar. This isn’t to say making money is wrong, but if it becomes your main pursuit then money becomes your God.
I mention money because that’s what many people measure themselves by but it could be anything else. Honor God above everything to have a more peaceful mind.
So as I look at who I am…who I want others to see me as the first words that come to mind is that I am a child of God. I am His. In 1 Peter 2.9 it says, “But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light” (NLT). I am chosen, I am royal, I am holy, I am His!
Hannah Scott in the movie Overcomer says it best:
I am created by God. He designed me. So I’m not a mistake. His Son died for me, just so I could be forgiven. He picked me to be His own, so I’m chosen. He redeemed me, so I am wanted. He showed me Grace, just so I could be saved. He has a future for me, because He loves me! So I don’t wonder anymore, Coach Harrison. I AM a child of God! I just wanted you to know.
My heart is broken as a man who I looked up to, who loved with all he was, who called me daughter has left this earth way too soon. I have known Mr. Reggie for over thirty years, but only the last ten were as one of his kids. In 2015 my mom married Mr. Reggie and joined our family one last time for him. When he left this earth we all knew that family was one of the most important things to Mr. Reggie as he left behind his beautiful wife, Gloria, and seven children, 14 grandchildren, and 17 great-grandchildren. There is not one of us who did/does not love him and miss with with a deep and unimaginable sorrow.
Mr. Reggie always kept an amazing garden and yard, and made the best pancakes and bacon anywhere (guess all fireman really know how to cook), worked hard to serve those around him, and led by example. Some of my favorite stories with Mr. Reggie happened in his kitchen where there would be talk of “penis-butter” (peanut-butter) a joke that was captured by him, Mamaw and Faithe-Faithe full of grace; talk of karumpas with Codi-Rae, and sneaking ham bites to Champion. The day Mr. Reggie married my mom was one of the happiest days for our family – not only did they join in love their life, but us as a family.
Reginald Christman
Reginald Christman of Gillette, Wyoming was called Home on Saturday, January 9, 2021 at Wyoming Medical Center in Casper.
Reg was born in Sheldon, ND on March 12, 1938 to Edward and Hannah Christman. He joined three older brothers, Charles, Richard (Dick) and Warren. His childhood was spent on the family farm on the banks of the Red River in Ransom County ND.
Around 1948 the family moved to Casper. In 1957 Reg graduated from NCHS. During his high school years, he was active in ROTC. During that time, he worked as a sack boy at the Westridge Commissary. He also worked for Pacific Fruit and Produce.
After Graduation Reg worked for the Walter Schultz Distributing Company in Casper.
Reg joined the Wyoming National Guard and proudly served for nine years, attaining the rank of Sergeant.
On May 31, 1959 Reg married Valerie Hunter. They later divorced in 1989. From that union, 2 children were born, Lesa (Brian) Klein and David (Tonya) Christman. They gave him three grandchildren Adam (Kelsey) Rennick, Alesa (Eric) Stryker and Parker Christman, and 6 great-grandchildren.
In 1963 Reg joined the Casper Fire Department and after 23 incredible years he retired in 1985. During this time, he worked his way up to the rank of Division Chief. Reg loved being a fireman and all the friends he made during that time. Toward the end of his career, he had the honor of training the next generation in the skills to become firefighters.
Retirement didn’t mean rest for Reg. He painted houses and then went to work for Highland Park Community Church as a custodian.
On July 14, 1990 he married Wilma Cepel in Casper. She passed away on April 24th 2001. From this marriage Reg’s family grew with three children, LeAnne (Bozz) Bennett, Curtis Cepel and Bruce Cepel. There were three more grandchildren, JoLee (Jason) Krebs, Sarah (Dean) Scoggin and Stephanie Hobson and an additional 6 great-grandchildren.
Reg retired (again) from Highland Park and focused his time on family, fishing and his beloved garden. Many evenings were spent on his back deck watching deer, enjoying the natural beauty created by God and calling friends and family. “Don’t let your meat loaf and keep your powder dry” was a favorite saying for Reg.
On June 13, 2015 He married Gloria Solomon in Casper. From this marriage Reg’s family grew even more with two children, Kari (Larry) Skalicky and Tanya (Tim) Miller, five grandchildren Nic (Kat) Skalicky, Chris (Ashelie) Skalicky, Brianna (Greg) Green, Faithe (Liam) Dell and Codi Brown, and 5 great-grandchildren.
Preceding him in death are his parents, brothers Charles and Warren, and Wilma.
He is survived and will be greatly missed by his wife Gloria, his brother Dick, his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, numerous nieces and nephews and many dear friends.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Reg’s memory to the Casper College Foundation for the Fire Science Program. 125 College Dr. 82601.
A Celebration Reg’s Life will be held on Saturday, January 16, 2021 at 1:00pm. Newcomer Funeral Home is in charge of the arrangements. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, there will be limited seating in the chapel. A virtual feed will be available on the Newcomer website.
A reception will follow immediately following the service at the VFW, 1800 Bryan Stock Trail.
Private family internment will follow at a later date.
**Make sure you read to the end as there are several lists to choose from**
As the new year starts off many are considering how they will plan, what resolutions they will make, etc. etc. etc. Here is one challenge I have for you. The meditation on and/or memorization of one Bible verse per week for the 2021 year. For me each week of my planner has a scripture verse listed. For this first full week it is John 3.16 – a verse that most Christians know. So here is my challenge to you – write these verses for each week somewhere you will see them weekly, if not daily. Pray through the verse and meditate upon it. Scripture is so important, and while I may not be the best at memorizing it, I know what it says and I know when I am casting out demons or praying to God I know what His word says and I may not get the words exact but by golly God knows and so does our enemy what I mean.
So I wanted to give you a couple different lists of verses for you to put on your calendar, in your planner, or the bathroom mirror to see each and every day. The first one is an easier list, and is a great list for your kids as well.
Now if you want something a little harder here are verses for the whole family:
Week #1—34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” –John 13:34-35
Week #2—In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. -John 1:1-3
Week #3— 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not [a]comprehend it. -John 1:4-5
Week #4 — 12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the [e]right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: 13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. -John 1:12-13
Week #5— 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. –John 1:14
Week #6 — And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. 17 For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. –John 1:16-17
Week #7 — 3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born [a]again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” –John 3:3
Week #8— 24 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life. –John 5:24
Week #9 — 44 No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day. -John 6:44
Week #10 — 12 Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” –John 8:12
Week #11 — 10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. 11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. –John 10:10-11
Week #12 — 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” –John 11:25-26
Week #13 — 25 He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. –John 12:25
Week #14 — “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many [a]mansions; if it were not so, [b]I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. –John 14:1-2
Week #15 — 27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. –John 14:27
Week #16 — “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. –John 15:5
Week #17 — 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you [f]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” –John 16:33
Week #18 — 3 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. –John 17:3
Week #19 — 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Week #20 — 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Week #21 — 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, 4 And so find favor and [a]high esteem in the sight of God and man. –Proverbs 3:3-4
Week #22— 9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; -Romans 12:9-10
Week #23— 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient[c] in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given[d] to hospitality. -Romans 12:11-13
Week #24 — 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:14-15
Week #25 — 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. -Romans 12:16
Week #26 — 17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have[e] regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. -Romans 12:17-18
Week #27 — 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. -Romans 12:21
Week #28 — Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. –Proverbs 10:12
Week #29 — Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. –Romans 13:8
Week #30 — 5 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God [a]is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. -1 John 2:5
Week #31 — 10 He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. 11 But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. -1 John 2:10-11
Week #32 — Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of [a]God! Therefore the world does not know [b]us, because it did not know Him. 1 John 3:1
Week #33 — 2 Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. 3 And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. 1 John 3:2-3
Week #34 — 11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another -1 John 3:11
Week #35 — 23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave [f]us commandment. -1 John 3:23
Week #36 — 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8
Week #37 — 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. -1 John 4:9
Week #38— 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. -1 John 4:10-11
Week #39 — 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love [c]Him because He first loved us. -1 John 4:17-19
Week #40 — 14 For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; 15 and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. -2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Week #41 — 13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” –Galatians 5:13-14
Week #42 — Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. –Ephesians 5:1-2
Week # 43 — I will love You, O Lord, my strength. 2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my [a]strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the [b]horn of my salvation, my stronghold. –Psalm 18:1-2
Week #44 — For the word of the Lord is right, And all His work is done in truth. 5 He loves righteousness and justice; The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord. –Psalm 33:4-5
Week #45 — 20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, [d]how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. -1 John 4:20-21
Week #46 — I, therefore, the prisoner [a]of the Lord, [b]beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3
Week #47 — Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. –Ephesians 5:1-2
Week #48 — Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. -Colossians 3:12-13
Week #49 — But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. –Colossians 3:14-15
Week #50 — Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we [l]may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. 29 For our God is a consuming fire. –Hebrews 12:28-29
Week #51 — But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. 8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:7-8
Week #52 — 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” –John 13:34-35
Some people are looking for a list specific to their gender or their role as a parent, and that is what you fill find next.
First I started with some basics that all Christians should know:
John 3:16 ~ For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
Romans 3:23 ~ For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 6:23 ~ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 5:8 ~ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 10:9 ~ That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
1 John 1:9 ~ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
John 14:6 ~ I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
Psalm 119:11 ~ Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.
1 John 4:7-8 ~ Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Psalm 27:1 ~ The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?
Matthew 6:33 ~ But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Romans 8:28-29 ~ And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren.
Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Psalm 46:1 ~ God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 73:26 ~ My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
James 1:2-4 ~ Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Revelation 3:20 ~ Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.
Ephesians 2:8-9 ~ For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
2 Corinthians 5:17 ~ Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
Matthew 11:28-30 ~ Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
Philippians 4:13 ~ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Galatians 2:20 ~ I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.
Colossians 3:23 ~ Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.
Galatians 5:22-23 ~ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Hebrews 12:1-2 ~ Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shames, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Romans 12:1-2 ~ Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ~ Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 ~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything y prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 3:16 ~ All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.
1 Corinthians 10:13 ~ No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
Matthew 28:19-20 ~ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.
For wives:
Ephesians 5: 22-23 ~Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Colossians 3:17-18 ~ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
I Peter 3:1-3 ~ Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
Titus 2:3-5 ~ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Proverbs 31:26-31 ~ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Psalms 19:14 ~ May these words of my mouth and this mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
I Thessalonians 5:17 ~ Pray without ceasing.
I Thessalonians 5:18 ~ In every thing give thanks: for this is the willofGodinChristJesus concerning you.
I Peter 4:8 ~ And above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Luke 6:37b ~ Forgive and you will be forgiven.
For moms:
Titus 2:4 ~ That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
Proverbs 22:6 ~ Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Isaiah 40:29-31 ~ He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ~ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Philippians 4:6-8 ~ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Colossians 3:23 ~ And whatsoever ye do, doit heartily, as to theLord, and not unto men.
James 1:3-5 ~ Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
Matthew 6:30-34 ~ Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
James 1:19-20 ~ “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
Love is not easy! My husband and I live apart during the week, and he travels 568 miles round trip every night, but without fail he stops in Cheyenne every night just to see me for a short ten minutes and steal a kiss. Love is making sure that he doesn’t have to worry about the bills, and ordering medical supplies he may need because I love him…it isn’t glamorous and it isn’t fun but love isn’t always those things. 
Love is not getting upset because he is playing a game on the phone all the time while home, because I know when we go do things together I have his undivided attention. Love is true in the good, the bad, and the ugly! Love is not caring that he just got home, and your hair is greasy, sticking up everywhere, you stink and you’re still in your pajamas. Love is sitting patiently at Dillard’s, and JC Penney’s as she looks for that perfect dress. Love is following her wherever her job takes her because she finally gets to live her dreams. Does love have flowers and chocolate? Absolutely there is that too…every Valentine’s my sweet husband has flowers sent to my office. But more of our days and love revolves around the things that are hard, and are day to day! Love is coming home 
across roads most people wouldn’t drive on just because he doesn’t want to spend another minute without me, or going to the local Loaf & Jugg at 11:30p just to get gummy bears because she has a craving. 
alittledoseoflivingoutloud 