SAAM 2024

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the blog writter and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent.

The month of April is known as Sexual Assault Awareness Month around the world. It is during this month that often military Sexual Assault Prevention & Response (SAPR) Teams will host significant events to bring awareness to the subject of sexual assault and awareness. The 90th MW/SAPR Program is similar; the first part of the month for the SAPR team at F.E. Warren Air Force Base (FEW) comprised of advertising. Getting out amongst the people giving out business cards and candy at gates with the first sergeants or sitting at tables visiting with people during their lunches was all a big build-up for three major events dominating the talk on the installation.

Mayra Guillen from the #IamVanessaGuillen Foundation flew to Denver, Colorado, from Houston, Texas to speak to the men and women at FEW. I was privileged to pick her up and be her assistant and chauffeur for the day she was in Cheyenne. What a privilege to hear an amazing and strong woman talk about her sister, the tragedy that occurred, and what has since occurred in the SAPR world as a result of Vanessa’s needless death. Over 600 people packed the FEW theater to hear Mayra. FEW was the first military installation after Vanessa’s death to invite Mayra to speak and follow through, and we made sure to leave a lasting impression that we pray will leave her wanting to come back and compare all her other visits to this one. It is my hope, with the help of sponsors, that next year, for SAAM, we will be able to dedicate a bench at the front of the installation to Vanessa’s Guillen and the Start by Believing concept. Already we have seen the impact that this woman has made just at FEW.

SARC, Becki Burke and Marya Guillen

The theater was packed for Mayra Guillen

Following Mayra, we invited another impressive woman and survivor to teach at our gym on self-defense. Mrs. Sarah Falen-Tate is an impressive woman who is an attorney and advocate for our farmers and ranchers and teaches self-defense. Thanks to her daddy, who believed it essential for his children to learn self-defense Sarah was able to escape an attempt to kidnap, rape and assault her while she was out on a highway in Wyoming alone. She uses that knowledge to teach others how to be cognizant of their surroundings and, if necessary, the basic steps to escape if the need arises. This is the second year we have had Sarah at our installation, and she never fails to bring the heat. We look forward to her returning to teach more men and women at FEW.

Mrs Sarah Tate teaching self defense

Finally, the 26th of April arrived, and our team would make sure that the Annual SAPR 5K and Resource Fair finished the month with a bang. With only 52 people signed up to run and attend, we saw that the men and women at F.E. Warren Air Force Base would surprise us once again with over 100 people walking/running on a cold and blustery day, and then upon finishing heading to the Trails End for breakfast courtesy of the First Sergeants and coffee from Scooters Coffee and a wealth of information on self-care from the following organizations: SAPR, Chaplain Corp, the JA, Guard Prevention, Outdoor Recreation, Military One Source, 90/MW Prevention, Cheyenne Animal Shelter, Hands on Physical Therapy, Blue Federal Credit Union, Military One Sources, and many many men and women who assisted with set-up and tear down. We started with over ten tubs of swag to give out, and when we returned, we had less than two.

The conclusion of SAAM was amazing with more runners than anticipated and a fantastic resource fair.

April was an incredible month here at FEW. I look forward to seeing what Becki Burke, our new SARC, does with this program and how she takes it to new levels of trust and acceptance by both leadership and the men and women we serve.

Thoughts…Thoughts…Thoughts

1. Cleaning out a closet
2. If money was not an issue
3. High School
4. Relationship with the body

So this is going to be that kind of rambling post about multiple topics when I realized in reality they weave into one another!

Ahhh…that feeling you get when you have cleaned out your closet of clothes you don’t wear or are too big! That is exactly what I am doing this week. I have a tote I will be taking to someone this week. It is such a good feeling to remove clothing from my closet because they are too big. It is a sign I am losing weight, getting healthier and taking care of me.

When I was in high school I had this little 100lb body that easily fit into size 0 and 1s. I didn’t exercise and ate whatever I wanted never thinking that not only did I have a family tedency to be overweight but also that I could lose my high burning metabolism. That little girl in high school always had other worries that consumed her: being pretty enough, or knowing and being with the right friends. Fast foward 30 years to a 49 year old woman who has birthday four daughters and faced health challenges amongst other things I now weight 155lbs. This is huge as I have seen 250lbs at one point. In 2015 I made the decision to take control of my life and body by not oly shedding weight but also stopping a pharmaceutical-chemistry set-up in my own medicine cabinet and body. I no longer would be ruled by presciptions, begin walking and living again on my own terms. Today I make it a point to get in 10,000 steps, and multiple flights of steps. In addition to that I do intermitten fasting, where regularly I do not eat for 20 hours and then only have an hour or two of feasting. Is my relationship with my body perfect? No, but as with any relationship it is a work in progress. Somedays I love how it looks and other days…I keep reminding myself I am fearfully and wonderfully make and that all things are from God.

If money wasn’t an issue…what wouldyou do tomorrow if you won the lottery or had a rich relative who left you with enough money that you could do whatever you wanted the rest of your life? I am sure we all dream and imagine what we would do if money would no long be an issue. Many would buy lavish items like cars, clothes, houses, etc. But is that really what makes life better? Do you know many of the millionaires and billionaires out there do not live in big fancy homes or drive fancy cars? Rather many live just like regular middle-class. According to many studies it is realtors, attorneys, and other high profile persons who seem to need to put on the airs even if their flat broke. So what would I do if money was no longer an issue…I would buy a home on 40-50 acres so we could have some cows, pigs, etc. My new home would be a modest three bedroom home. Just big enough to have guests but not so big it envelopes us with too much room. Yes we would probably buy a new car but nothing extravagant. My husband would probably just rather redo his engine and repaint the truck since we love it and hate the newer ones. My current vehicle is a 2016 Mazda CX5 that I love and does well for us when we travel. Of course my education costs would be paid off and any otherstanding bills for us and the kids. Beyond that we would take care of some needs for the kids and then with the help of a financial advisor we would work on investments so our wealth could grow and help our kids when we leave this earth. We would discuss giving to the church and military groups, and then traveling would be a must. Lastly using my education and Tim’s knowledge workng with our military and volunteering would be important.

So what would you do?

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2022!

Greetings and Salutations from the Miller Zoo!                                                         

2022 has been a fun year! So many changes and events have happened for Tim and me…we cannot wait to tell you about all we have done and experienced this year.

Initially, the year was slow to start, but in flew February with an announcement that our youngest daughter was engaged to be married – and “mom would you come to help me shop for wedding dresses?” Absolutely but it wouldn’t be until March that we would find that perfect dress. 

• February was an exciting month, and we welcomed another first…we got to meet Greg and Brianna-Lea’s daughter Inora Lynn and spend some quality time with all three of them. She is a delight, and spending a few hours with her and her parents was wonderful.

In March, so many events happen! At the beginning of the month, I was notified that I was under investigation for falsely answering information in my security clearance. Fortunately, good overcomes evil, and after several months of wondering and waiting, I was exonerated and placed back in good standing.

• Not only did I fly to Kansas City at the end of March to shop for dresses, but Tim and I had the opportunity to attend Buckles and Baubles with my OG team, where we outbid my commander on a picture that would later be returned to him as a parting gift for his change of command.

Over the entire year, our family enjoyed several tea(s), both as the four of us and just Faithe and I. It has become a monthly event that Faithe and I enjoy participating in.

May found so many changes…

• Volunteering at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter is a joy and a place I spent many hours over the summer and fall. I, unfortunately, haven’t been able to be there for a while due to injuring my knee.
• At the shelter, I found a new addition to our home and the Dell home:  Sir Pepper!
• Even under investigation, my OG team supported and believed in me. It was reflected in what they thought when I received the highest score an appraisal can receive.
• Moving the kids to Cheyenne and seeing Liam off to Vandenburg AFB, where he could do his 13N training.

June saw lots of endings and beginnings.

• At the beginning of the month, we celebrated a friend of Liam and Faithe’s while we photographed their wedding.
• Then we celebrated Codi with a bridal shower.
• Finally, we said goodbye to my first OG command:  Colonel Moore and Lt Col Hartfield, but hello to a new team in Colonel Nelson and Lt Col Vann. I have been vastly surprised at the differences in command over the last five years as I worked amongst these fantastic men and women.

July is always a busy month with CFD. So much of this time is spent volunteering for this significant event that highlights our past and present. So many miles were walked and run as we photographed, ushered, and ran in the parade. The month ended with our family signing up to join the CFD Military Committee – a real privilege after working alongside them for many, many years.

In August, Faithe and I started up Lunar Studios Photography again with more work photographing animals and group work – we enjoyed photographing families at the base – walking alongside animals at the shelter – and assisting 4H’rs perfect their work.  

• This was the month I would also agree to be a mentor for the Pine Bluffs MOPS program – something I hope I have helped with as much as they have helped me.
• This would also be the month we would enjoy a tour of more of the hidden side of my work and see what our Missileers do each and every day 

• But the most prominent event had us spending a week in an air BnB in Longmont as we prepared for and celebrated Nate and Codi’s love as they joined their families together in marriage.

Another busy month blew September in for the Millers. Not only would I be starting back into school, but Faithe and I would photograph several significant events and go to the 75^th Air Force Ball. The one thing Tim and I had for a first was with me being gone for nearly five days and him being home with critters. We both agreed that while it was great for me to spend that time with mom and Kari, our next trip would be together.

In October, Liam graduated and came home as the newest missileer to the 90^th Operations Group. It was so awesome to have the family back together. 

• This would also be the month we spent hours in the park gathering family pictures and just laughing a lot.
• An opportunity for application for a new job came up as well at the month’s close. While I was sure I would never leave the OG, I was not able to utilize my education as easily. Fortunately, after an interview, November would swoop in and show us the blessing of being selected as the first employed Victim’s Advocate at the 90^th Missile Wing. Around mid-December, it is the hope of many that I will move to my new job and begin helping those who have seen their voices silenced, speak again, and have their rights restored.

As we come to the end of the year, we are spending the holiday with Tim’s brother Brian and our girls and their families. I am volunteering as a key spouse so that our men and women in the missile field have a taste of home..and we are saying goodbye once again not only to my team as I move onto a new one but to our friend and colleague Bee as she moves onto a new assignment. The hardest thing about the military is the goodbyes…or see you later since we don’t know the next time we will see a person.

Well, that is our year in a brief nutshell…so many things that needed to be condensed down but that we wanted to share, and so much more we wish we could share but there just is not enough room or time before getting this out to each and every one of you.

Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The Millers and The Zoo!

September/October Photo Drop and Thoughts

October ended with lots of love and laughter…we celebrated Liam’s first Halloween by dressing up and collecting candy – he was the extended warranty guy! We even decorated and carved pumpkins. As part of the festivities, we visited the base where we saw the Luttons, Nelsons, Carmean, and Buss. I even dressed up and let Ms. Tea decorate my nails more. However, there was so much more to October…

Check out the cool colors on my ankle due to a result of a fall from the 30^th or the tea we went to on the 29^th

I got a new dish set – something I have not gotten before

Liam has become my accountability partner – I am looking forward to going back to the gym with him

We advertised to do pictures this Saturday, but no one signed up

Then there is my little Bee hanging out

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“I am Groot!”

No matter where I go, I will always be a Jolly Rogers. In October, I applied for a position doing the work that I have been working towards in my education – today (11/04/2022), I interviewed and feel 99% certain I will be hired. I have mixed emotions about this as I love the 90^th Operations Group and struggle with leaving them… However, I want to think that I will leave an imprint on the lives I have encountered in a good way.

Wyoming showed her colors this year with a real fall spectacular showing. We saw those colors just days after when we saw silver flowers while doing family pictures.

My sweet Bee finds that lying down and loafing anywhere is good enough.

Tuhla and I went after the same ball; only when I went to kick, she went for the foot rather than the ball. Can you say ouch?

Not only has Wyoming shown all colors, but at the base, we have enjoyed a variety of animals, including this young coyote who appears at different times during the day. I was lucky to watch him for a while – he likes to dive headlong into the ground after rodents.

Check out one of the sweet shelter pups I enjoy each time I am at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter!

Birthdays…Teas…and Fur babies!

One of Liam’s requests after he came home, was to have a full tea at home…so the three of us had one and then enjoyed some time running errands. When we got home, the kids wanted to celebrate Tim’s birthday with a singing and exploding card.

Liam graduated from 13N school at Vandenburg Air Force Base

Pepper got to meet his dad

Enjoy a passel of kittens from the Cheyenne Animal Shelter above!

At the end of September, I traveled to Gillette to help move mom to Kansas City, MO, to live with my sister and brother-in-law. We enjoyed time traveling, unpacking, Holly time and time together. When I got home, I enjoyed time with my critters and an evening in the ER with my husband to learn how we do things like abdominal sprained muscles as we age.

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In September, we said goodbye to Chief Delgado – had another tea – went to see Codi – checked out a Sunday farmer’s market – did spring cleaning (check out Tuhla’s green nails!

September saw our first MOPS meeting in Pine Bluffs…And Faithe and I photographed the Cheyenne Marathon.

However, more important, it saw us celebrating the 75^th Anniversary of the United States Air Force. More time with the shelter photographing their Octoberfest

We said goodbye to the only queen I have ever known in my lifetime:  Queen Elizabeth II. Rest in Peace, Your Majesty!

Our yard is looking good – as are these pups who were adopted.

Codi and Nathan made it to Greece and took wedding pictures in their beautiful wedding attire. Moreover, my sweet husband celebrated our 5^th Wedding Anniversary with a beautiful bouquet for me

A Few Things on My Mind

Hello!

This blog will be full of hot topics that have been poking at me for some time now. So buckle up and prepare for a swath of topics

Many of you know I am a real advocate for those with disabilities, ensuring they have a voice. And I am not just addressing disabilities because of physical or mental issues born into a person but also those created out of trauma. So, moving along this subject line…

• If a person has a disability, the worst thing a parent, sibling, spouse, etc., can do is take away choice

• and voice from that person. I made the poor decision to remove a child’s voice out of fear and concern. Unfortunately, the development of that decision has given licenses for others, including her sisters, to insist she be in a bubble rather than allowing her to utilize a voice that too often has been silenced by good intentions but a poor path. While some disabilities demand certain decisions and do not allow for choice, repeatedly, that is just an excuse. As the parent of an adult child, I have learned that too often, I put my child in a bubble to protect her, but instead of protecting her, I took away her voice and ability to choose for herself what was and wasn’t suitable for her. By doing this, I set an example of how others should treat my child. Unfortunately, it was a poor example to follow. So, the lesson here is that a person with a disability who is mentally competent should be allowed to make their own decisions for their body. The new word being used is medical autonomy…and it is true.
• A person with a disability who requires a service dog is often bamboozled with people who do not know service animal etiquette. Recently my daughter was shopping locally, and a woman walked her kids over to her and her service dog and told the children to stay there and play with the dog while she shopped. Usually, my daughter is ok with petting if asked first, but this lady just assumed. When the lady was corrected for her behavior, she immediately used a rather foul language to describe my daughter for failing to allow her children to use her service dog as a babysitter. “Whether the dog is in service or training to serve, the rule is: don’t touch or distract him. This is because interacting with a working or training dog could put the other half of his team — his owner — in harm’s way.” [1] These rules are broken down further for those who think they can’t resist petting
  • Speak to the owner, not the dog.
  • Don’t touch without permission
  • Keep dogs a distance away from working dogs
  • Do not offer food to service dogs
  • No matter what, treat all people with sensitivity and respect
  • Do not make assumptions about a service dog
  • Do inform the handler if their dog approaches you
  • Never assume service dogs just get to be dogs.
  • Service dogs have the right of way
  • Never feel sorry for a service dog
  • Know the law[2].

Just get over it. How often is this phrase said to those who have suffered a traumatic event? Well, it is another subject that is just getting my goat. A person who suffers a traumatic event cannot just get over it. While as counselors and other mental health professionals, it is greatly desired for those seeking assistance to do so as quickly as possible after an event, it does not always happen. Because of this, just getting over it may take years and sometimes never happens. It is rude and disrespectful for anyone to suggest that they get over it to another. For too many years, we have been a society that hid our inner demons and failed to get help…this standard makes it hard as we turn a corner and encourage asking for help to occur. Stop saying, “just get over it,” and encourage those around us that it is ok not to be ok and

to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness but rather strength. “Well, the sad truth is that often when we are told to get over it, the people in our life are not thinking about what is best for us. Rather, they are thinking about what’s best for them. Let’s face it—intense emotions are stressful to the people around us. They don’t like it. And as much as they may love or care about us, if it comes down to their distress versus ours, many people will want to ensure that their stress is managed—even if it is at our expense. And so, when our friends and loved ones tell us to get over it, what they are telling us is that we are stressing them out, and they can’t take it anymore”[3]. Instead of telling a person to “just get over it” how about, we realize that the pain they are suffering through is part of their journey. Next, let reality set in that there is no magic timetable for when anyone heals – we are all different and unique. Lastly, be there. 

I am a strong conservative Christian! But unfortunately, by saying those words, many people will create this box they believe I belong in. It is a box that some would label as Trump-supporter, pro-life, indoctrinated, second amendment gun-toting, Bible-thumping, radicalist…feel free to add whatever term that comes to mind. While I do associate to a degree with some of those terms, those aren’t what I want others to think about when they realize I am a Christian. I want them to remember that I did my best to love the way Jesus did.  So often, those who hold these labels are considered strict and judgmental Christians who do not believe in tolerance, etc.  Unfortunately, this is what the word Christian has come to mean. 

Jesus had one word that was part of his instruction that came up again and again: to love.

Not to love those that we are like, but to love everyone. A change I recently went through allowed me to stop being a critical, judgmental Christian rather than someone I hope Abba truly wishes me to be like.

Because of this change in attitude, I can look at my daughter, who identifies as a bisexual feminist and say, ok, but I still love you. It allows my youngest daughter to introduce me to her friend Rose, a transgender woman, and not be afraid of how I will react. It allows me to be a friend to my colleague, a married homosexual woman, and not be scared when she hugs me. It allows me to be a confidant to a black man, hold his hand in prayer, and not be afraid. It allows me to run to help a Muslim woman who drops her groceries at her car and not be frightened of her. It allows me to cry and be disgusted when one of my newest friends has to go through an emergency PCS because his family is being persecuted in gruesome ways due to the color of their skin.

So knowing this and my feelings on diversity, where does that lead me next?

Let me ask this did you know that God is pro-choice?  “Goldberg is right that God gives human beings

choices, but he also expects us to live with the consequences of our choices. In Deuteronomy 30:19, God tells the Israelites, “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live.” Jesus makes it clear that in the final judgment, we will be judged based on the choices we made in life. Those who failed to love their brothers as they love themselves, Jesus says, “will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life” (Matt. 25:29).”[4]That does not mean that God will not judge us in the end for the choices we make; it does mean that it is not our job to stand on the street corners and shout down the women who make that choice. Instead, we need to show them the love of Jesus. 

Bad People, Not Bad Animals. In July, I was bit and scratched by a cat at the shelter. I was more than a little shocked as this particular kitty had shown nothing but affection in the kennel and initially in the playroom. But as I rubbed it and my hand went to its hindquarters, it turned on me swiftly. I knew something was wrong with this kitty, as cats don’t just turn like that. Carefully with blood dripping, I placed the cat back in the kennel, let someone at the shelter know what had occurred, and placed a quarantine on the cat. I knew in my heart of hearts that this sweet animal was not vindictive or mean; rather, there was something wrong with it internally. I checked on the sweet kitty every day while it was in quarantine, and finally, the decision was made by the vet that the cat had to be euthanized due to what is kitty fibromyalgia. I could not let the cat be put to sleep without someone there that would love it and be there for it as it breathed its last – someone who did not hold against it. So on that Sunday, Charlie was put to sleep in a quiet room. This could have been prevented if Charlie’s owners had been attentive to its needs and didn’t just drop it off at a shelter like discarded garbage. I see a lot of these kinds of issues at the shelter. People drop off animals they think are problems or have problems because they are unwilling to give the time needed to care for an animal that will love them truly. I guess that is part of why I love volunteering – to show these animals the love they have longed for and miss.

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[1] “Service dog etiquette — Paws of war,” n.d.

[2] LTHQ, 2021

[3] (Sills, 2021)

[4] How to answer the “God is pro-choice” Argument. (2020). Catholic Answers, Inc. https://shop.catholic.com/blog/how-to-answer-the-god-is-prochoice-argument/

Merry Christmas from the Miller Zoo

Greetings and salutations from the Millers!  It has been another exciting and, in many ways, exhausting year!

We miss you Spaz

2021 was the year of goodbyes for us.  January saw us retrieving the ashes of our previous Spaz, who passed away at the end of December.  Then we saw a farewell to Mr. Reggie after catching COVID-19.   These would be the good-byes we didn’t want to say.  But it would not be the last of them…

March saw me returning to school to work on my doctorate in counseling.  Much of the first of the year also saw Tim at home more than at work due to medical issues.  Thank God we learned the issue behind his medical…don’t let anyone ever tell you that stress can’t cause your body to shut down and not work right.  With some applications and looking around, we saw several job offers in April and a final decision by the first of May…Tim took a job with ABF Trucking.  This is where another good-bye would come into play…and one we were glad to see.  Tim said goodbye to FedEx Freight, and we said goodbye to that dreaded apartment in Wamsutter.  For the first time since we moved to Laramie, Tim and I would no longer be saying goodbye at the beginning of the week and hello at the end…instead, we are in the same house at least every other night.   

Isn’t he handsome in his new uniform?

My military family and husband moving snow

What else did March see for us…a snowstorm that shut down Cheyenne and much of the area for a week.  It was an impressive two feet of snow…it was fun to watch Tim and the other guys in the neighborhood trying to move the snow for at least walkways back and forth across the street.  Or Tim making a path for Tuhla to do her business.

 Good-bye…I had never really understood what the word meant as a guard military spouse, but now that I work for the DOD, I am learning it a lot.  And the first of saying good-bye began in May and didn’t end until July with all the change of commands, with my squadron commanders.  I am learning to understand that while it may be a good-bye for the time being that many of these people will either return or with making friendships, I will have friends all over the United States.

Tuhla and I walking

May and June were pretty busy for us.  Not only did I have a lot of change of commands to work on, but new people in my office.  Then Tim and I started working on better health…for me, which meant starting reflexology, seeing a nutritionist, and starting a whole new walking program.  For me starting this new regimen has been the best thing possible and helped put my fibromyalgia into remission.  This would also be when Tim and I would start with new doctors – he with one in Cheyenne and me in Laramie. But really the most memorable part for me has been really stepping up my walking regimen…On average I walked 7-9 miles every day until November and now it is 3-5 miles with half at work and the other half on my treadmill (thank you, Captain Cody Sanchez).

June would also see me commit to one last act with AFROTC with the University of Wyoming.  I helped Liam, my son-in-law, to commission.  It was an excellent time to watch this next step in the evolution of his career and the kid’s life.

Men who would become instrumental at the beginning of Liam’s career

We learned that July is a hectic month for our family.  Because we were only two months into Tim’s job, we saw him doing pretty extensive traveling initially.  I helped our leadership find the right clothes for Cheyenne Frontier Days (CFD). The military plays a critical role in CFD. Nearly every day, Faithe and I actively participated in various activities for the military and CFD…not one day went by where we didn’t walk-jog at least 20 miles.  It was so good to see we could do it…Faithe and I have already decided to come next year, whether stationed elsewhere or here. She and I are going again…I will pay for the plane ticket. Along with volunteering at CFD events, we (Faithe and I) helped with Visit Cheyenne and their rodeo series as volunteers with tickets and parking.

Letting horse go to rest

July also allowed us to open our home to a family in need. It made us appreciate what we have and the relationship we have.  It also confirmed that what I am pursuing an education in is correct.

August and September were reasonably quiet, but October blew in like a tornado.  Tim went from an extra board runner to having a bid that takes him from Cheyenne Wyoming to Salt Lake City six days a week, with Thursdays off. I admit it took me a little bit of time to understand how his schedule worked (I don’t know why my brain made it so hard).  But now I know and can schedule our time around it.  We see him take a run, off when we want a little extra time off.  This was also the month that I would lose my military counterpart and be told that the challenge would start when I did both jobs until at least mid-November.  It was a great experience and let me appreciate my military counterpart more.

October was also when our feral mama kitty would have another litter of kittens…six of them.  All six of them have gone to homes, including Luca, with some family friends in Laramie.

Mama Kitty and her litter of six

Our little Bumblebee – doesn’t he have cute toe beans

Luca the last rescue kitten – he loves his new home

Whoa, whoa, whoa…I forgot a minor detail for August that was pretty life-changing for our zoo….with one little phone call, I learned that a feral kitten I had been trying to catch had been caught and was in our basement.  This sweet kitten was B of a group. Tim had named them A, B, and F.  A, is mama kitty, and I finally caught her three days before Christmas (she will be warm and now to find her a home). F, also known as Ferdinand, went to live with another family, and B…well, sounds like a bumblebee (and moves like one too) and gets around like Gumby.  Needless to say, we call him our little Gumby the Bumble Bee. My little Bee is lying behind me on my chair, purring away as I write this. I have continued to work with the feral kitties, and find them homes. The last kitten so far to find a home is Luca.

November was exciting as we spent the holiday with the kids and learned that Liam was considering giving up his pilot slot for a Missileer position.  November rolled into a busy December as well.  The first week of December, we saw much of I80 closed due to weather…closed for us meant that Tim spent two days in Laramie in a hotel and one day in Rawlins trying to find his way to Salt Lake City (SLC) on a singular run.

It looks like we will be spending our Christmas alone this year.  Liam and Faithe will be headed to SLC on Christmas eve to spend it with Bree and her family.  Codi and Nathan will be spending it in their new home…trying to catch a breath after a particularly rough last quarter of the year (please pray for our kids as they had a particularly hard goodbye this month).  New Year’s Eve will see Tim driving again…please pray for his safety.

Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  And I pray your 2022 is more restful and filled with much more peace than the last two years have been for many! 

The Millers,

Tim, Tanya, Gizmo, Tuhla, and Bee

Enjoy our year in pictures, in no specific order…notice because we no longer have little ones at home that many of our pictures revolve around our fur babies!

My sweet Codi and Vaka

Tea with Liam and Faithe – one of my favorite fancy activities togehter

Playing with dad’s boots

Chasing string

Tuhla hates her coat

Sister-Brother love

Waiting on blood work-up

Lord knows what we were laughing about – this I know we were at the hospital once again

Halloween – I dressed up as a kitty tangled up in yarn

Stopping at Natural Bridge on way back from Casper

Wyoming roads are closed again to wind

Now you know why he is called Gumby

Bee zonked out

At the corn maze with the kids

Racing

Cool decorations in Old Town

Charlotte one of the members of our zoo

MOPS scavenger hunt

There should be a revolving door for the Millers at the ER – punch card 2

walking

celebrated at work

flowers from my honey

Bee

My little man

Tuhla and Gizmo hanging out in the sun

We love and miss you

Goodbyes suck

B & F

feeding time

play time

finally got our flag up around the clock

playtime at work

Buffalo Chip Toss

Bee before he came home

Bee’s feline mama

Gizmo and her box

And punch card 3…I took a nice fall

Tuhla and her pillow

And we’re walking

judging at 4H

nap time

CFD

Grand Marshall

first 5k

5K

Gas Buy Down

Gas Buy Down 2021

F

Tootles

Happy Birthday Nathan – I am so glad the kids are so close to visit

Headed to VIsit Cheyenne Hell on Wheels Rodeo

Tuhla at her summer photo session

Commissioning Dinner

Commissioning Congrats

First Salute

Rank Pinning

Taking the Oath

He is so handsome

Tea with Faithe for Mother’s Day

Tea

ABF got one of the best driviers ever

Birthday flowers

Tim and I laugh more and harder than we ever have – this is what love looks like

March snow storm did stop us from grilling

Tim moved snow so Tuhla could go outside and potty

Moving snow

March Snow Storm

Out on a date with this guy

Faithe and Liam’s new car

Family

Faithe and her cousin

Liam

Bedtime

We love and miss you

Mamaw and Liberty

Fibromyalgia

I have Fibromyalgia, but it does not have me. I have hesitated to write this story but felt it was a necessary evil. I have likely had FMS since 1988, likely after I was in two automobile accidents within three days of one another. It is believed that FMS is passed down the maternal side and is a recessive gene that can be sparked alive by severe trauma. For me, it was these car accidents…for my daughter, we have not been able to pinpoint it to one specific trauma as she suffered several in the first two years of her life. There is no cure or treatment for FMS, and for each person who has it, they have to work through their symptoms and issues individually. They cannot necessarily rely on someone else (for example, a diet change helped me but has not helped my daughter).

The reason I bring this to light is I have had way too many family and friends who do not understand why I may go home and take a nap after working for the next several days, but then on day four, I clean the garage, and go shopping, and unpack my house…why can’t I always do that! I have grown frustrated with people looking at me and saying, “but you don’t look disabled.” That is something that is commonly heard. And while right now I am blessed not to look that way, it was not so long ago that I did use a cane and had blossomed to well over 250 pounds because of my disability. The common phrase of don’t judge a book by its cover can aptly be applied to this situation.

So I decided it was time to explain my FMS. I am blessed that I have seen remission…at least until June of this year (still fighting the good fight and trying to keep it at bay). I chose in 2014 after a move to Albuquerque, NM that I did not like who I had become. I didn’t particularly appreciate that my children had to pack our house and take care of getting us to NM because of my disability and their father being gone. So a change was in order…it started with ridding my body of all the pharmaceuticals I was placed on, which I believe did more harm than good. I went cold-turkey off of them all (please, please consult with a physician before doing the same thing as it can be perilous). I began exercising, which is hard when you have chronic pain, but I forced myself to exercise every day (and to this day, I make sure to get some stretching and exercising in). I also changed my diet…less eating out, less gluten, and more fresh, wholesome foods. Between all of these things and some other mental changes I made, I was able to say I was altogether in remission by the spring of 2015. I have not read of many people who have been blessed to see this gift, and it is not one that I look blindly in the face. With all of this said, does it mean I no longer have pain…no it does not. Many of the issues with FMS are still very active in my life…what it means is I have to think less about how many spoons I will spend in a day as I do when my FMS is out of control. (Yep, I saw that look…spoons? We are getting to that!)

So as you can see, things look bright but let me tell you about the last two weeks, and you will understand why it is vital for me to explain to you about FMS…

Last week was my last week of school for two classes I was taking to finish my master’s degree in counseling, but that wasn’t the only thing I was doing. Additionally, we had only been in our new home for two weeks and living out of box after box (I am someone who has to have everything in its place, and if it isn’t, I do stress over it – and all stress does is highlight the pain and other symptoms). And on top of that, I had a sick husband at home, and I was working a 40+ hours week at my new job. Do you see the problem already…how do I make it to where I have enough of me to do it all. Can you also see that this is difficult for an average person, let alone someone who has a disability? And so comes the spoon theory authored by a person who has Lupus. It will also explain to you why I did not get the house unpacked or cleaned at all, and that most evenings when I got home, I had to choose whether to do a little homework and then whether to spend time with my sweet husband or go to bed because I was exhausted and knew even going to bed early did not mean a restful night. This week is a little different. No more school and a little more energy, but I still had to take two days to clean my house, and in doing that, it also meant laying down for half an hour after work to find a little extra energy. Tonight it will be hard as I travel to Laramie to finish cleaning my old home, meet my husband and then get up in the morning to make one last dump run before heading back to Cheyenne for the weekend. This weekend I will take the whole thing to do nothing but rest as I can feel my body caving slowly from spending more spoons than I have to give and taking them from future days.

Now to understand fully, I hope

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

© Christine Miserandino

air force rotc

Let me start by saying I love the Air Force and being part of the AFROTC team. Let me also say this is my opinion only and not that necessarily of the Air Force or AFROTC as a collective. 

Every year students in the AFROTC program between their sophomore and junior year of college, with the exception of a select few travel to Maxwell AFB in Alabama for what is called field training. This is thousands of students. 

Each branch of the military that has ROTC does a similar summer program….Army, Navy, Marine Corp, Coast Guard and Air Force. All branches except the Air Force have cancelled their summer programs due to COVID19 this year. 

Students who are in ROTC, at least in the Air Force are not members yet of the Air Force thus are not treated the same. Some who are on scholarship are contracted as part of the individual ready reserves but again they are not held to the UCMJ either. 

This year the Air Force ROTC has decided to do a reduced field training but still have one. These students who attend will still fly from all over the world to participate in this program. The issue I have is there will be no quarantine of the helpers arriving now, the cost to bring the helpers has now increased because at the last minute they decided to make them arrive five days ahead of schedule (plane tickets were bought before this newest decision), and there is no plan in place for the future of students who may contract COVID19. 

Let’s break this down to my ultimate question…you are asking civilians who want to join the Air Force to go to another state where the mayor of the closest town has said there is no room in their hospitals, potentially be exposed and contract this virus. You then want them to be away from family, where if the virus gets ugly will not be near their sons and daughters to potentially say goodbye if they die. And to top it off after they get well you want to send them back where they may not now be allowed to join the Air Force because who knows if they can now pass a pulmonary function test because their lungs could have been damaged. And who knows what long term pulmonary issues they may have – who is gonna pay for that? Yep you guessed it right, they are up a creek without a paddle because the Air Force isn’t going to pay for it.

The Air Force will let their active duty members who may contract the disease to remain in the service and will for the rest of their lives pay for any care related to COVID19.  On top of that to protect those active duty members they are going to let them work from home if that is possible, but not the future generation of students who are to commission.  The comment made by a higher up when asked what the Air Force’s plan to take care of these cadets if they get sick was they would just have to suck it up.

Well I am sick and tired of hearing that our cadets can have the benefits and train in the military but they cannot be treated with the care of our active duty members should they be released from ROTC because of the Air Force’s misstep

.

QUIZ TIME – TIME CHANGES THINGS

I took this quiz originally on 31 May 2016, four years ago.  Things have definitely changed in my life since this time.  I am leaving the original answers from four years ago and putting in my new answers below them in green if things have changed or I want to ad lib…where have you changed in the last four to five years?

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? MULTIPLE, AND I PAY FOR THEM TO THIS DAY

In the last four years I have been involved in one more that has really taken its toll on my anxiety when driving.  But all of the accidents singularly and jointly have left their impact on my body.

02. Do you have a lot of scars? FIVE

Seven – Three from my emergency gall-bladder surgery, two from my hysterectomy, one on my knee from when I was little, and one from a stupid bet with my dad

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? YES

I want to add that this was when I was in junior high and it was in defense of someone I love.

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? YES, AND I AM STILL TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS

I do not believe there is ever a time we as humans will live and not by accident or purpose not hurt someone.  I have hurt some family members deeply and have asked for forgiveness.  I now leave it in their hands.

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? YES, INTERNALLY

Both inside and out.

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? I DON’T KNOW

My mom always used to say I had a stunning beauty; sometimes I see it and know what she was talking about.   What I do know is that I was chosen, redeemed and am a child of God and that is what matters.

07. Are you self-conscious of how you look? VERY MUCH SO

Shortly after I gave birth to my second child I stayed in sweats, didn’t do my make-up or hair….and yes when I am sick I still do that, but I learned from my mom during that time that how we feel on the outside can also reflect on our mental health.  So when I get up in the morning I try to get dressed, even if only into leggings and a cute top, do something with my hair and put on the bare minimum of make-up a least.

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? DEPENDS ON WHAT I AM DOING

I can honestly say no.  On a day when I am just going out of the house in a ball cap I am likely to put on some foundation so I don’t burn when outside and eyeliner.  Today…I put on foundation, eye shadow, liner and blush.  I rarely if ever wear lipstick.  But it is all applied very modestly and is never caked on.

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? NO

I think if the opportunity presented itself and it was the right thing to do I may consider it. 

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? BEAUTY ISN’T ABOUT JUST WHAT IS ON THE OUTSIDE…

I still firmly believe that true beauty starts on the inside and then may manifest itself to the outside. Something I notice about people tends to be their eyes.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? I NEVER GOT GROUNDED…

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? I DON’T BELIEVE IN ABORTION

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? YES, ALL THE TIME

More today than every before I think about consequences and how my actions will affect those around me.  I often find myself asking God to guard my words so that when they come out of my mouth they will not do harm.

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? TO BE BEATEN VERBALLY – TAKES LONGER TO HEAL FROM THIS THAN PHYSICALLY

I am working on my Master of Arts in Human Service Counseling with an emphasis in trauma and crisis.  One of the things I have learned – that I think I knew already – is that physical scars heal much easier than mental and spiritual ones do.  There is an old adage that goes “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” boy did someone get that wrong!

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? WHAT IF’S DON’T DO ANYONE ANY GOOD

There are always going to be regrets in life…whether we use them to learn and move forward is what matters.  I still believe what if’s do nothing but cause havoc and hurt to the present.

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? I GET VERY QUIET

I yell when I am madder than a wet hen.  It is something I did when my kids were little and something I do now when I have a big fight.  With that said, I don’t get mad…I get hurt and when I do I get quiet and reserved.  Not because I am trying to isolate, but because I have learned that when those times happen prayer is my weapon of choice.

17. Name a time when you had to be strong. WHEN HAVEN’T I

I honestly cannot think of one time when I was not either expected by myself or others to be strong no matter what.  I have learned though that my Creator is the one who is strong…I have to give it to him.

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? YES

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? I TEND TO JUST INTERNALIZE

I think to a degree I may still do this, but my attitude has also changed some.  When I was in K-12 I would internalize the lack of acceptance and pain it caused, and generally went off on my own.  Today, my attitude is, it is your loss.  But there is still some hurt from a lack of acceptance.

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. I HAVE LOST SEVERAL GRANDPARENTS, AND KATHERHYN…YOU JUST GRIEVE AND EVENTUALLY WHILE YOU DON’T FORGET YOU START LIVING AGAIN

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? I HAVE BEEN WORKING SINCE I WAS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I AM CURRENTLY THE CIRCULATION MANAGER FOR A NEWSPAPER. AND I HAVE DONE A LOT OF VOLUNTEER WORK OVER THE YEARS. CAN’T WAIT TILL THE DAY I CAN DO THAT AGAIN.

I currently work at the University of Wyoming as the AFROTC-UW Liaison.  I love my job and love being part of these young people’s lives.  I long for the day the Lord leads me to the job of my heart and allows me to return to volunteering.

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? NOPE

NYOB

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? I HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF ISSUES

My new answer to this is Jesus carries me more times than not, both in the past and currently.  My relationship with him is no longer just long, but very deep.

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? I AM NOT SURE ANYONE IS EVER ENTIRELY READY TO BE ON THEIR OWN

I am a realist in that I know if something happen to my husband today, and I had to be in a home by myself, and doing life on my own I could do it.  But I would never be entirely alone.  I would have the support of family to see me through the dark times, and I would spend a lot of time with Abba.

25. How old do you act? MY AGE

I have had a lot of people that say while I do not look my age, I act much older than I am.

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? YES, FOR REASONS OF SAFETY

This answer has not changed in why I do not talk to some, but it has also had an addendum added to it, in I have family that chooses not to talk to me any longer and I mourn daily for that relationship.

27. If you had to choose, family or friends? MANY WOULD SAY BLOOD BEFORE WATER, BUT I THINK THIS IS NOT AN EITHER/OR ANSWER

I was raised by what people term my step-mom.  She has never been my step-mom and never will be…she is MY MOM.  She is not blood, but I would choose her every day, and many times it has been over blood.

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? NO

I believe there are things we neither share with our parents or our children.  One of my best friends is my daughter – when they grow up the relationship becomes vastly different – and I share much with her.

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? I HAVE THREE – TWO BROTHERS AND A SISTER

I wish I had good relationships with them.

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? AS OFTEN AS I CAN

Not as often as I would like, but I do try and get cards out or a text message out to them.  I am not someone who likes to talk on the phone a lot, so I resort to the old fashioned letter.

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? 5.2, AND I AM PERFECT AT THIS HEIGHT

So for whatever reason I was measured at 5’3 recently.  That is growth, which is unusual at my age.  While I have always liked my height, I would not mind seeing a few more inches so my husband does not have to bend over or I stretch so far to get a kiss, especially as we age. There is a 16 inch difference in height between the two of us.

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? YES

I thought there was growth four years ago, but it was not the right kind of growth.  Here we are four years later and I have grown in so many ways…academically, physically, and most important spiritually.  Since COVID19 and having to be quarantined in my own home my relationship with my God has grown in ways I could never explain.  I rely on this relationship in a way I have never before done.  No longer is it just about knowing who God is, but knowing Abba intimately. 

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act: MATURE

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? NOPE

When I was younger I never was happy at the age I was…always wanted to be a little older.  I have no problem saying today I am 45 years of age.  Many think I do not look like I am in my forties, and I chalk that up to good genes and taking care of myself.  I also have others who say I act many years older than I am.  For me, I am OK with where I am with my age, and growing older no longer scares me the way I thought it might.

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? WE HAVE THINGS TO LEARN EVERY DAY

My daughter says I am a professional student.  In the last five years I have earned a bachelor of science, a master of science and by December will have earned a master of arts.  I really would like to say I am done, but I would like to move to that final step and get my doctorate, but we will see what the Lord impresses upon my heart.  Either way I will never stop learning.

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? REAL

37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist?

I am an optimist.  I will always believe that people are better, or give the benefit of the doubt.

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? I BELIEVE THAT WE CHOOSE THE FROM THE OPTIONS THAT GOD GIVE US

I do not believe it fate.  With that said…in Psalm 139 it says that God knows what we will do, what we will say, where we will go before we even do it.  But he knows that because he is the Alpha and Omega, and still says while I know what you’re going to do I let you make the choice. 

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit goes on? YES

Yes, but we choose where it will go after we leave this earth, by whether we choose Jesus or ourselves. 

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? REALLY DEPENDS ON WHAT I AM DYING FROM

My hope is in Jesus and NO ONE can steal that from me.

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? I HAVE DEPRESSIVE ISSUES BECAUSE OF MY PHYSICAL HEALTH

Because of some physical disabilities I have struggled with depression and anxiety.  I am since learned to deal with those issues in a natural and healthy way. 

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? FIBROMYALGIA AND EARLY ONSET OF PARKINSON’S

I am in as close as can be a remission with both.  I chose five years ago to get off of all the big pharma drugs that in my opinion led to more trouble than good and use exercise, diet, and essential oils to feel better.

43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? NOT A YES OR NO QUESTION

No relationship is easy.  Every relationship will  have hills and valleys and that is OK because it allows a person to grow both individually and together.

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? I HAVE FELT THAT WAY BEFORE

I will never be alone.  No matter where I am I will always have family and my relationship with Abba.

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?

The thought of death usually comes when I see loved ones and friends pass on.  On 29 May 2020 Grandpa Ola Campbell passed away at the age of 99 years…he was greeted in heaven with well done good and faithful servant.  I cannot wait for the day when I get to hear those words and sit at the feet of Jesus and know the trials and tribulations of this earth have passed. 

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) MOOSE

47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh, Or the other way around? DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? SOMETIMES

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! I DON’T KNOW

Tim and I like to do things to “scare” each other, and see who gets the last laugh.  Saturday when he came home I was so absorbed in homework that neither I or Tuhla heard him until he was upstairs and coming into the hallway. Scared the dickens out of me, but boy did we laugh.

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? NOPE I WAS QUIET

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? TO LEARN

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? SMART

Well at least my husband and kids refer to me this way.

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? A+

54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? 4.0, AND MAINTAIN

When I graduated with my Master of Science I did so with a 3.9.  This degree seems to be harder for me, so I will likely finish with a 3.2 and will be just as happy as I did my best.

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? CRIMINAL JUSTICE

I still love to learn about the criminal justice system, but I have altered the route and what I learn about to help victims, those dealing in trauma.  So on an academic front I love to study counseling.  But just for me, I find that I am daily learning and desiring to learn about Abba.

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? I AM DEEPLY IN LOVE

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? SOME DO

58. Is love worth it? I LOVE DEEPLY, UNCONDITIONALLY, AND WITH AN INTENSITY THAT SOMETIMES GETS ME IN TROUBLE

Love should never hurt, but sometimes it does. God so loved us that he sent his only son to die for us….that is the kind of love I want to always show…unconditional no matter the pain it causes.  Thank God he would never ask us to make the same kind of sacrifice as he did for us.

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? NO

Love comes in many sizes, shapes, and colors.  Who am I to say they have no idea what love is.

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? I AM VERY CAREFUL WHO I SAY IT TO

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? NO

For where we lay up our treasures up here on earth, so will they be in heaven….my treasures are not monetary.

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW

I have family that are much better off than others.  But really I have quit looking at their checking account to see where they are, but rather where relationships, hearts, etc are.  I have family that are far wealthier than others, and yet have nothing in their bank account.

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? I AM CURRENTLY IN COLLEGE AND RELY ON GRANTS, SCHOLARSHIPS, AND LOANS

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? WHY CAN’T I HAVE BOTH

I am blessed to have marriage and family.  And while we are not always where we want to be financially it could be worse.  With that said…I would like to be much further ahead than we are right now, and have some very strong regrets about past financial decisions.

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? YES, WILLIAM WITH THE PIGS, WITH THE PIGS

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN…WHAT DO YOU THINK

67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? NOT HAPPENING

68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? NO

69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? ABSOLUTELY

This goes back to what ifs and looking back.  I cannot change those decisions so rather than regretting and wishing them away I choose to learn and help others.

70. Do you consider yourself nicer or more naughty? You can’t say both! NICE

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? BECAUSE I OPEN MYSELF UP ENTIRELY I TEND TO GET HURT EASIER

I have stopped opening myself up entirely.  I choose who receives a little and who receives a lot.  I rely heavily on that still small voice to tell me who I give what to.

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? I DON’T KNOW

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? I TEND TO GO WITH MY GUT ABOUT PEOPLE AND HOW I WILL TRUST THEM

To go with one’s gut means we aren’t relying on the one who created us.  I rely on Sarayu – also known as the holy spirit – the Bible describes the Holy Spirit as breath or the wind.

74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? I DON’T KNOW, IT IS A FEELING

When I am married.

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? DEPENDS ON WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT

As I mentioned before there are just somethings I do not tell my parents.  This is their time not to worry about the trials and tribulations that face me, but for me to worry over them.  I have learned as my children have progressed into adulthood my relationship has changed immensely with them and I tend to share much, much more with them.

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? I MET A FRIEND THAT BECAME A BOYFRIEND WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL…HE WAS A FULL BLOODED NATIVE AMERICAN. MY FATHER WAS COMPLETELY OPPOSED TO ME HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM, BECAUSE OF HIS RACE…I REGRET NOT STANDING UP TO MY DAD. I REGRET I NEVER KEPT IN TOUCH. TO THIS DAY I CAN STILL SEE HIM, AND CERTAIN SMELLS REMIND ME OF HIM.

I would never erase memories.  I have never erased the memories of this young man, because there were many great ones.

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? YES

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? I TRY TO BE OPTIMISTIC, BUT I THINK LATELY PESSIMISM HAS TAKEN HOLD

I am optimistic.  I believe all have good and I look for that rather than the bad.

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? YES

I have a cadet who had a terrible health issue arise.  She was hospitalized and was not expected to live.  The prognosis was grim and hope was dashed for many.  But the prayer warriors kicked in and now she is expected to walk out of her hospital room the first of August.  God will use anything and everything for his glory.

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: YES, AND I WON’T EXPLAIN

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? DEPENDS ON THE PROBLEM

It really depends upon the problem.  More and more for things that are mental and spiritual in nature I seek counsel.  I am aware of my limitations physically and have more than once gone to my work team for things at work, and my kids during the week for things at home.  I do try and do for myself first, but realize there is nothing wrong with asking for help.

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? NOPE

I do not ask these questions as my worldview is very clear.  I am a Christian, and I know who my creator is, and what-not.  Does that mean I don’t have questions…absolutely not and I look forward to the day I get to ask Abba…if they are still important.

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? NO I DO NOT THINK THE GOVERNMENT IS ALWAYS TRUTHFUL. AND ONE QUESTION…I DON’T KNOW THAT I COULD NARROW IT DOWN TO ONE

I think the government is not entirely transparent, and on somethings cannot be.  Are there things they need to be more transparent on?  Absolutely, but I also believe that we as citizens have a responsibility to hold accountable our elected and appointed officials and that the citizens of this country are entirely too lazy and would rather be keyboard warriors than actually get up and do something.

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? IT REALLY DEPENDS ON WHAT WAS DONE TO ME. I GENERALLY ONLY CONFRONT IF IT IS SOMETHING REALLY BAD

Because of my past I am careful to confront.  I have confronted in the past and the pain and problems it created were worse.

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? WHY?

Why did you allow us to have free will?

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? DEPENDS ON WHO I AM SHOWING IT TO

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? LIE TO ME; KEEP THINGS FROM ME; HIDE FROM ME

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? GENERALLY, YES

I respect the position they are in, not always the person in the position.

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? I AM A GROWN ADULT, TRY NOT TO BE DISRESPECTFUL

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? I AM NEITHER MEAN OR KIND

I admit my first fleshly response is to pay back action with action, but I have become more self-aware and try to stop the reactions while still in my head and pray instead for them.

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? I AM PURSUING MY MASTERS DEGREE IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE

I am now pursuing my masters degree in Human Services Counseling.

92. When will you graduate high school/college? 2017 HOPEFULLY

I graduated in 2017 with my bachelor’s degree, in 2019 with my first master’s and will finish in December 2020, but graduate in May 2021.

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? AFTER I GRADUATED I GOT MARRIED AND HAS CHILDREN

So much has happen since I graduated from high school.  Ultimately I plan to counsel those in crisis and trauma with the military when I grow up.

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? I LOVE THAT I AM LEARNING

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? NO

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? NO

Yes, and I do have regrets, but again we know what I think about what ifs.

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? NO

98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? NO

Lets just leave it at this…I am a David.

99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? NO

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? STRONG WILLED

I am so strong-willed at somethings, and weak in so many other things.

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? NO

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I HAVE A SPECIFIC STYLE I HAVE PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS WORN

As I get older I see that I stick to what is both comfortable when I am not showing my professional self, and more classic for the professional or formal side of life.

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? NO, NO TO ALL OF THOSE

105. What makes you different from people your age? I WOULD LIKE TO SAY EXPERIENCE, BUT WHAT I THINK IS DIFFERENT MAY NOT BE

As I look at where people my own age are I really cannot say as I do not have a lot of friends that are my own age.  I am very choosing about friends and the few I truly count as close friends share the same love of the Lord as I do.

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? ELECTRONICS

107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? I WOULD GLADLY SACRIFICE MY LIFE FOR OTHERS AND HAVE ON AN EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL LEVEL

I mentioned above that I do not have any problem with sacrificing myself for those I love.  Now when I say sacrifice I do not mean my emotions, my heart

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? SPECIFIC PIECES OF JEWELRY

I still value certain pieces of jewelry, but I also have things like my Grandad’s old shirt, my Christmas spider from Brianna, certain Native items that have been customized for me.

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? IF I HAD ALL MY ANIMALS AND LOVED ONES IT WOULD BE PHOTOS

There is nothing that cannot be replaced, but likely it would be my Bible and prayer journal.  If more time allotted it would be computers, and hard-drives.

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? I THINK OUR PAST REFLECTS WHAT OUR FUTURE WILL BE LIKE

I think there is nothing that can replace past memories and experiences, but I do think that should not stop a person from making new ones that are just as important.

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? PEACE WITH MY CHILDREN, SUPPORT FOR MY LIFE, FINANCIAL STABILITY

Peace with my children, financial security for my husband and I, a place to put down roots where we both could be happy.

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? LOVED ONES

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? I BELIEVE THAT WE MAKE OUR WISHES COME TRUE WITH HARD WORK AND PRAYER

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? YES

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? NO

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? INDEPENDENT

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? ABUSE

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? YES

124. What kind of person would you be if you didn’t have guidance from family members, God, teachers, etc.? Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? I THINK I WOULD BE A STATISTIC IN THE GUTTER

I do believe that people develop into who they are as they go through life and are exposed to faith, family, and experience.  Some mental health diseases it is suggested can be hereditary or caused by errors in the brain…I believe we are born perfect and time and exposure to things change the brain.

125. Do you think people are generally good? WE ARE ALL SINNERS AND HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR EVIL

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? YES, MOSTLY

I am happy with where I am, and what I do.  I do have a dream for my job, and I have a need to live in the same town and same home with my husband.  My dream is to move home to Cheyenne and be working with the military.

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? DEPENDS ON THE CHANGE

It really depends on the change.  Recently we had change that involved being victimized by “who we do not know” when our truck was vandalized and broke into.  The entire week I was a nervous wreck.  As the week progressed and I buried myself more and more in prayer I found peace.  I get excited over change that involves things like a new job, and new environments.

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? YES

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? GOD, MY LOVE, MY CHILDREN

Have You Experienced Descrimination

What is discrimination?

Discrimination is the unfair or prejudicial treatment of people and groups based on characteristics such as race, gender, age or sexual orientation. That’s the simple answer. But explaining why it happens is more complicated.

The human brain naturally puts things in categories to make sense of the world. Very young children quickly learn the difference between boys and girls, for instance. But the values we place on different categories are learned – from our parents, our peers and the observations we make about how the world works. Often, discrimination stems from fear and misunderstanding.

According to the American Psychology Association (APA) everyone will experience discrimination of some kind at one point or another in their life.  I honestly thought I would never experience it because in Wyoming we just don’t do that…boy was I wrong.  Honestly though I think considering I am nearly fifty years old and I am just now experiencing it is pretty good right?  Or maybe I have experienced it before but never let it affect me.

Discrimination can define many different things…for me this time it was because I am a civilian.  I have worked beside the military for twenty-five years in one way or another.  Most recently when I was hired to work with the military it was as colleagues, as equals!  The first eighteen months I was an equal.  I worked along side my colleagues…all military personnel…as equals.  At no time was I looked at as beneath any of them, whether they were enlisted or officers.  Recently that has changed though…and I feel it.  The words were because you are a civilian you cannot do, or teach, or brief, or any number of things.  Being someone who has never allowed any kind of discrimination define me as we see some minorities I have really struggled with this.

Anyone who is discriminated against needs to see the truth that it is not their fault that someone cannot look past their skin color, gender, religion, etc.  Rather it is the person doing the discriminating who has the issue.  The are the one with blinders on.

The end of discrimination begins with me and you.

• Never again say anything negative or derogatory about anyone as it relates to things outside their control.

• Be more aware of discrimination. When you witness it, ask yourself if there is anything you can do personally to remedy the situation. Then do it!

• Be intentional about giving favor to those whom you know are being discriminated against.

• Say the words and practice the behavior you want children to imitate. As parents and teachers, we have a huge influence on our children and their views.

• Guard your thoughts and words when with those who make discriminating remarks.  Stand up for what’s right.

• Choose your friends carefully. People who discriminate are not friends of mine. Remember that you are the average of your five closest friends.

“It is often easier to become outraged by injustice half a world away than by oppression and discrimination half a block from home.” —Carl T. Rowan

I challenge each of you to stand up for one another.  To be the hands and feet of Christ and show love no matter where you are or who you are with.